Why Good Manners Are Important In Islam?

salahdin

Junior Member
Why Good Manners Are Important In Islam?
By Protected Pearl
Published in Morals & Heart-Softeners
Published on Sep. 22, 2010

بِسۡمِ ٱللهِ ٱلرَّحۡمَـٰنِ ٱلرَّحِيمِ







First let's see what did the Quran and the Prophet say about Akhlaaq (manners):

The Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him), in Muwatta Imam Malik said: "Verily, I was sent for no other reason,except to perfect the noble traits of character'' - in other words; one of the Prophet's goals, in fact, the primary mission was the perfection of how people behave - their manners.

A Muslim can't be a true Muslim if he does his Ibadaat (worshiping, i.e prayers, fasts, zakat..etc)very well but neglects an important side of his worship i.e Akhlaaq. In other words, he who prays his daily prayers in mosques well, but when it comes to dealing with people in his daily life he is the worst person, cannot be considered a true Muslim. This is true of people who backbite, spreading hate and evil among people, treat those who are under his care (family, employees…etc) cruelly and lie. Yet people who are like this are still proud of themselves and think that they are guaranteed a place in Jannah because of their prayers?

The connection between Iman and manners is very strong as the Prophet peace be upon him said that faith consists of seventy branches, the least of which is the removal of a tree branch blocking the road, and in another narration, sixty branches, and Hayaa' (which is an Arabic term, which is hard to translate and covers manners,modesty, guarding of chastity, etc) is a part of faith. So again, manners and behavior are linked directly to Iman.

The Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam said: "The best Mu'mins(believers) are those who are best in their akhlaaq, those whose shoulders' are trodden over."

The Prophet peace be upon him said: "Those of you who will be closest to me on the Day of Judgment will be those who have the best akhlaaq."

Is there any better blessing than being close to the Prophet in the day of judgment?

Now lets see how and where the good manners are demanded

In the area of family, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: The best of you is the best of you to his family, and I am the best to his family.

In the area of neighbors, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: The angel Gabriel kept advising me about neighbors until I thought he would make him entitled to some part of the inheritance.

In speech, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: Nothing is weightier on the scales of the day of judgment than his good behavior.Allah treats a person who is given to loose and vulgar talk with displeasure.

With regards to backbiting,the Allah said: And do not backbite, would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother; you would surely hate it (so you should likewise hate backbiting) [Al Quran 49:12].

With regards to parents, Allah said: say not even a word to them in contempt and don't repel them [Al Quran 17:23].

In controlling one's temper, the Prophet (peace be upon him) says: The strong man is not the good wrestler, but the strong man is he who controls himself when he is angry.

With regards to being for giving and kind, the Prophet (peace be upon him), said to one of the Sahabah: ``You have two qualities which Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta'alaa) likes and loves: one is mildness and the other is toleration''.



Ahklaaq in giving Dawah:

You might believe this or not! But good manners are the best form of Dawah. If we ask ourselves, what if a person was walking around calling people to Islam and to worship the one true God yet he have no manners at all, will anyone follow him? Or even listen tohim? The answer must be No, for sure.

No one will be willing to follow the same way of life that such a person (above) follows. Even if he was so eloquent in his speech and no matter how nicely he described Islam as the best religion on the face of earth, his actions, speech,and beliefs are opposing hence no one will listen to him.People tend to believe the actions more than the speech and that is the nature of human as actions speak louder than words

We need to remind ourselves that Islam was spread -during its early stages- in many countries like India and the far east of Asia through the Arab Muslim merchants who were showing the best of manners -especially in trade- to people of those countries. Their honesty and actions were so admired by people of those countries that they embraced Islam.

You can't walk around preaching people to embrace the religion of honesty when you are not honest! You can't advise people about morality in Islam when you don’t follow any morals! No one will believe what you are saying because simply you are not making any sense to them!

Another example of this is the story of the Jew who was a neighbor of the Prophet (peace be upon him) who used to dump rubbish on his doorstep. One day, the Prophet found no rubbish. The next day he found no rubbish, so he asked about the Jew, only to find that he was sick. He then visited the sick Jew and tried to make him feel better. As a result, the Jew became Muslim.

So how do we improve our manners?

Imitation One way to learn how to do something is to pick a master at that particular thing and learn from him. And indeed in Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) we find that excellent example. In the Qur'an we find it says (In suratul Ahzaab, 33: 21). Indeed you have in the messenger of Allah an excellent example for anyone who him who looks to Allah and the Final Day and remembers Allah a lot. And in another verse in (Suratul Qalam 68: And you (i.e the prophet) are indeed possessedof awesome manners. Ai'sha (may Allah be pleased with her) when asked about the behavior of the Prophet (peace be upon him) said that ``His manners were the Qur'an''.So we should study the manners of the Prophet and try our best to imitate them. [The Great Importance of Good Manners by Muslims, A khutbah (sermon) by M. Waleed Kadous]


Source

More Articles in Morals & Heart-Softeners
 

esperanza

revert of many years
shukran brother..this is very important something we all need to hear,that to be a good muslim doesnot mean just to pray ,go to the mosque,but the persons character is so so important too...hope we can all learn from this inshalla
 

Aapa

Mirajmom
Assalaam walaikum,

Brother,

Everything you post is beneficial. May Allah reward you and your family.

For my sisters in hijab..they know when we wear hijab that is all they will get from us..excellent manners at all times.
 

sabina isa

Junior Member
Why Good Manners Are Important In Islam?
By Protected Pearl
Published in Morals & Heart-Softeners
Published on Sep. 22, 2010

بِسۡمِ ٱللهِ ٱلرَّحۡمَـٰنِ ٱلرَّحِيمِ







First let's see what did the Quran and the Prophet say about Akhlaaq (manners):

The Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him), in Muwatta Imam Malik said: "Verily, I was sent for no other reason,except to perfect the noble traits of character'' - in other words; one of the Prophet's goals, in fact, the primary mission was the perfection of how people behave - their manners.

A Muslim can't be a true Muslim if he does his Ibadaat (worshiping, i.e prayers, fasts, zakat..etc)very well but neglects an important side of his worship i.e Akhlaaq. In other words, he who prays his daily prayers in mosques well, but when it comes to dealing with people in his daily life he is the worst person, cannot be considered a true Muslim. This is true of people who backbite, spreading hate and evil among people, treat those who are under his care (family, employees…etc) cruelly and lie. Yet people who are like this are still proud of themselves and think that they are guaranteed a place in Jannah because of their prayers?

The connection between Iman and manners is very strong as the Prophet peace be upon him said that faith consists of seventy branches, the least of which is the removal of a tree branch blocking the road, and in another narration, sixty branches, and Hayaa' (which is an Arabic term, which is hard to translate and covers manners,modesty, guarding of chastity, etc) is a part of faith. So again, manners and behavior are linked directly to Iman.

The Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam said: "The best Mu'mins(believers) are those who are best in their akhlaaq, those whose shoulders' are trodden over."

The Prophet peace be upon him said: "Those of you who will be closest to me on the Day of Judgment will be those who have the best akhlaaq."

Is there any better blessing than being close to the Prophet in the day of judgment?

Now lets see how and where the good manners are demanded

In the area of family, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: The best of you is the best of you to his family, and I am the best to his family.

In the area of neighbors, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: The angel Gabriel kept advising me about neighbors until I thought he would make him entitled to some part of the inheritance.

In speech, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: Nothing is weightier on the scales of the day of judgment than his good behavior.Allah treats a person who is given to loose and vulgar talk with displeasure.

With regards to backbiting,the Allah said: And do not backbite, would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother; you would surely hate it (so you should likewise hate backbiting) [Al Quran 49:12].

With regards to parents, Allah said: say not even a word to them in contempt and don't repel them [Al Quran 17:23].

In controlling one's temper, the Prophet (peace be upon him) says: The strong man is not the good wrestler, but the strong man is he who controls himself when he is angry.

With regards to being for giving and kind, the Prophet (peace be upon him), said to one of the Sahabah: ``You have two qualities which Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta'alaa) likes and loves: one is mildness and the other is toleration''.



Ahklaaq in giving Dawah:

You might believe this or not! But good manners are the best form of Dawah. If we ask ourselves, what if a person was walking around calling people to Islam and to worship the one true God yet he have no manners at all, will anyone follow him? Or even listen tohim? The answer must be No, for sure.

No one will be willing to follow the same way of life that such a person (above) follows. Even if he was so eloquent in his speech and no matter how nicely he described Islam as the best religion on the face of earth, his actions, speech,and beliefs are opposing hence no one will listen to him.People tend to believe the actions more than the speech and that is the nature of human as actions speak louder than words

We need to remind ourselves that Islam was spread -during its early stages- in many countries like India and the far east of Asia through the Arab Muslim merchants who were showing the best of manners -especially in trade- to people of those countries. Their honesty and actions were so admired by people of those countries that they embraced Islam.

You can't walk around preaching people to embrace the religion of honesty when you are not honest! You can't advise people about morality in Islam when you don’t follow any morals! No one will believe what you are saying because simply you are not making any sense to them!

Another example of this is the story of the Jew who was a neighbor of the Prophet (peace be upon him) who used to dump rubbish on his doorstep. One day, the Prophet found no rubbish. The next day he found no rubbish, so he asked about the Jew, only to find that he was sick. He then visited the sick Jew and tried to make him feel better. As a result, the Jew became Muslim.

So how do we improve our manners?

Imitation One way to learn how to do something is to pick a master at that particular thing and learn from him. And indeed in Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) we find that excellent example. In the Qur'an we find it says (In suratul Ahzaab, 33: 21). Indeed you have in the messenger of Allah an excellent example for anyone who him who looks to Allah and the Final Day and remembers Allah a lot. And in another verse in (Suratul Qalam 68: And you (i.e the prophet) are indeed possessedof awesome manners. Ai'sha (may Allah be pleased with her) when asked about the behavior of the Prophet (peace be upon him) said that ``His manners were the Qur'an''.So we should study the manners of the Prophet and try our best to imitate them. [The Great Importance of Good Manners by Muslims, A khutbah (sermon) by M. Waleed Kadous]


Source

More Articles in Morals & Heart-Softeners

As salam alikum,

I read the post and I completely agree with it, but to whom is directed, please do make this clear, because the ambiguous language is not part of good akhalk neither. Is directed to our brothers and sisters, that are the softest souls I see around, afraid to even have a louder tone of voice, to not be missunderstood?! To the muslim families, that are the only source on earth for some true family example?! To the muslims that even have hard time to pray, let alone think that they are garanteed Janah?! What are we doing here? West accuses us in papers cruelly, we accuse our own family "sweetly"? Is the true failure of muslims of not having good akhlak, or is it that they fear more West than Allah that has created them, and it shows in "this neverending care" to find the accusations of West justified?!
This is exactly an christian dawah in nature. It reminds me the case that Jesus said "If someone slams in you in face, turn the other to slam it". I believe we deseve it, what are we getting.
 

JenGiove

Junior Member
It reminds me the case that Jesus said "If someone slams in you in face, turn the other to slam it". I believe we deseve it, what are we getting.

Asalaamu Alaikum,

Sister, the translation that I am familiar with is this:

"You heard that it was said. 'Eye for an eye and tooth for a tooth. However, I say to you: Do not resist him that is wicked; but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other also to him. And if a person wants to go to court with you and get possession of your inner garment, let your other garment also go to him; and if someone under authority impress you into service for a mile, go with him for two miles. Give to the one asking you, and do not turn away from one that wants to borrow from you [without interest].

You heard that it was said, 'You must love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' However, I say to you: Continue to love your enemies and pray for those persecuting you; that you may prove yourselves sons of your Father who is in the heavens, since he makes his sun rise upon wicked people and good and makes it rain upon righteous people and the unrighteous. For if you love those loving you, what reward do you have? Are not also the tax collectors doing the same thing? And if you greet your brothers only, what extraordinary thing are you doing? Are not also the people of the nations doing the same thing? You must accordingly be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect."-Matt 5:38-48 New World Translation of the Holy Scriptures (the bible the Jehovah's Witnesses use)

Jesus (Isa) was talking about forgiveness and peace (internal peace) and generosity and charity and behaving in ways NOT like the "Nations"...He mentions Jihad and the benefits that come with doing the difficult things when he asks "What reward do you have?......What extraordinary thing are you doing?"

Volumn 008, Book 073, Hadith Number 059A.
------------------------------------------
Narrated By 'Aisha : A man asked permission to enter upon the Prophet. When the Prophet saw him, he said, "What an evil brother of his tribe! And what an evil son of his tribe!" When that man sat down, the Prophet behaved with him in a nice and polite manner and was completely at ease with him. When that person had left, 'Aisha said (to the Prophet). "O Allah's Apostle! When you saw that man, you said so-and-so about him, then you showed him a kind and polite behaviour, and you enjoyed his company?" Allah's Apostle said, "O 'Aisha! Have you ever seen me speaking a bad and dirty language? (Remember that) the worst people in Allah's sight on the Day of Resurrection will be those whom the people leave (undisturbed) to be away from their evil (deeds)."

Mohammad never hid from the evil people. He was polite (while they were not) and he was kind (where they were not) and he was welcoming (while they were not). What benefit was there for him in behaving that way? Remember, he said "The WORST people in Allah's sight on the day of resurrection will be those whom the people leave (undisturbed) TO BE AWAY FROM their evil."

Mohammad knew that the message of Allah could not be carried to the people if he stayed away from the evil things/people. He knew that sometimes (just as Brother Salahdin's thread about manners says) the best Dawah, is by example. You can not be an example if you are no where near the people who need that example the most. Think and say what you like about someone IN PRIVATE, but never ever let them FEEL like you feel that way about them.
 

Seeking Allah's Mercy

Qul HuwaAllahu Ahud!
Asalamoalaikom wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh,

May Allaah reward you with Jannah al Firdous. May He grant you a place under His shade of mercy and may He shower you with his endless blessings.
 

sabina isa

Junior Member
Asalaamu Alaikum,

Sister, the translation that I am familiar with is this:

"You heard that it was said. 'Eye for an eye and tooth for a tooth. However, I say to you: Do not resist him that is wicked; but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other also to him. And if a person wants to go to court with you and get possession of your inner garment, let your other garment also go to him; and if someone under authority impress you into service for a mile, go with him for two miles. Give to the one asking you, and do not turn away from one that wants to borrow from you [without interest].

You heard that it was said, 'You must love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' However, I say to you: Continue to love your enemies and pray for those persecuting you; that you may prove yourselves sons of your Father who is in the heavens, since he makes his sun rise upon wicked people and good and makes it rain upon righteous people and the unrighteous. For if you love those loving you, what reward do you have? Are not also the tax collectors doing the same thing? And if you greet your brothers only, what extraordinary thing are you doing? Are not also the people of the nations doing the same thing? You must accordingly be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect."-Matt 5:38-48 New World Translation of the Holy Scriptures (the bible the Jehovah's Witnesses use)

Jesus (Isa) was talking about forgiveness and peace (internal peace) and generosity and charity and behaving in ways NOT like the "Nations"...He mentions Jihad and the benefits that come with doing the difficult things when he asks "What reward do you have?......What extraordinary thing are you doing?"

Volumn 008, Book 073, Hadith Number 059A.
------------------------------------------
Narrated By 'Aisha : A man asked permission to enter upon the Prophet. When the Prophet saw him, he said, "What an evil brother of his tribe! And what an evil son of his tribe!" When that man sat down, the Prophet behaved with him in a nice and polite manner and was completely at ease with him. When that person had left, 'Aisha said (to the Prophet). "O Allah's Apostle! When you saw that man, you said so-and-so about him, then you showed him a kind and polite behaviour, and you enjoyed his company?" Allah's Apostle said, "O 'Aisha! Have you ever seen me speaking a bad and dirty language? (Remember that) the worst people in Allah's sight on the Day of Resurrection will be those whom the people leave (undisturbed) to be away from their evil (deeds)."

Mohammad never hid from the evil people. He was polite (while they were not) and he was kind (where they were not) and he was welcoming (while they were not). What benefit was there for him in behaving that way? Remember, he said "The WORST people in Allah's sight on the day of resurrection will be those whom the people leave (undisturbed) TO BE AWAY FROM their evil."

Mohammad knew that the message of Allah could not be carried to the people if he stayed away from the evil things/people. He knew that sometimes (just as Brother Salahdin's thread about manners says) the best Dawah, is by example. You can not be an example if you are no where near the people who need that example the most. Think and say what you like about someone IN PRIVATE, but never ever let them FEEL like you feel that way about them.

As salam alikum,

Thank you Jenn for the thorough reply. Though the stress of many posts lately and while some years now, is only placed in giving good example, as if muslims were beacon of bad behaviour. I don't know what muslims should do more, only kiss the feet of disbelievers. To me Muslims are example of best akhlak toward others, in every place on earth I have happened to meet them. The problem is they are too soft with others and too harsh with each-other. You mention eye for an eye, but that it seems is never part of dawah, but if I justify a muslim action with this ayah, muslim themselves would call me with bad manners. We say what we do not do. We are following christians as prophet s.a.w.s said in the needles eye. Is very sad. Quran and sunnah is only made dawah to please non-muslims, but we need dawah also to heal our wounds, to get stronger, to be a more solid community. There are tons of ayah and hadiths that do speak for unity of ummah, for healing the heart of the believers tried to what language is unable to do justice in describing, to justice that is far from being thought let alone stand for it, to prosperity of ummah, to saying the truth even in front of a tyrant and so much more. These are the dawah the muslim need to do with muslims. Heart of muslims are dying to only do dawah to non-muslims, it has become their centerpiece of attention. And what is more sad is that this type of dawah is only being promoted from the fear of non-muslims, their harm, not because of sincere care toward their guidance. Sincerity starts with Allah, then with yourself, then in the family, then goes to neighborhood and furthers. There are gaps, huge gaps in this type of dawah, that is so much promoted and applauded.

We salam
 

sachin4islam

Junior Member
Assalamu Alaikum:

An excerpt from above post needs to be intensely inspected.


A Muslim can't be a true Muslim if he does his Ibadaat (worshiping, i.e prayers, fasts, zakat..etc)very well but neglects an important side of his worship i.e Akhlaaq. In other words, he who prays his daily prayers in mosques well, but when it comes to dealing with people in his daily life he is the worst person, cannot be considered a true Muslim. This is true of people who backbite, spreading hate and evil among people, treat those who are under his care (family, employees…etc) cruelly and lie. Yet people who are like this are still proud of themselves and think that they are guaranteed a place in Jannah because of their prayers?

It distinctly applies to a bunch of Muslims who constantly stress only on matters of Aqeedah but fail to ever realize that only adhering to a correct Aqeedah will not fill others voids left open while practicing Deen of Allah.

Allah (SWT) let Muhammad (SAW) to set an extra-ordinary moral character for a period of forty years and than established His (SAW) prophecy. Even than Mushriqs of Macca failed to grasp Divine message of Allah.

Islam is composite of Ikhlas and Akhlaq.

Regards.
 

sabina isa

Junior Member
Assalamu Alaikum:

An excerpt from above post needs to be intensely inspected.


A Muslim can't be a true Muslim if he does his Ibadaat (worshiping, i.e prayers, fasts, zakat..etc)very well but neglects an important side of his worship i.e Akhlaaq. In other words, he who prays his daily prayers in mosques well, but when it comes to dealing with people in his daily life he is the worst person, cannot be considered a true Muslim. This is true of people who backbite, spreading hate and evil among people, treat those who are under his care (family, employees…etc) cruelly and lie. Yet people who are like this are still proud of themselves and think that they are guaranteed a place in Jannah because of their prayers?

It distinctly applies to a bunch of Muslims who constantly stress only on matters of Aqeedah but fail to ever realize that only adhering to a correct Aqeedah will not fill others voids left open while practicing Deen of Allah.

Allah (SWT) let Muhammad (SAW) to set an extra-ordinary moral character for a period of forty years and than established His (SAW) prophecy. Even than Mushriqs of Macca failed to grasp Divine message of Allah.

Islam is composite of Ikhlas and Akhlaq.

Regards.

As salam alaikum,

Are we in that stage?! I thought religions are well established. And truly I know of not one muslim that does the prayer and when delas with people he is sa bad. I truly fail to see what everyone seem to look so hard upon.

In Quran is said: "Believers are soft toward their brothers, and harsh toward disbelievers"

We salam
 

esperanza

revert of many years
Assalamu Alaikum:

An excerpt from above post needs to be intensely inspected.


A Muslim can't be a true Muslim if he does his Ibadaat (worshiping, i.e prayers, fasts, zakat..etc)very well but neglects an important side of his worship i.e Akhlaaq. In other words, he who prays his daily prayers in mosques well, but when it comes to dealing with people in his daily life he is the worst person, cannot be considered a true Muslim. This is true of people who backbite, spreading hate and evil among people, treat those who are under his care (family, employees…etc) cruelly and lie. Yet people who are like this are still proud of themselves and think that they are guaranteed a place in Jannah because of their prayers?

It distinctly applies to a bunch of Muslims who constantly stress only on matters of Aqeedah but fail to ever realize that only adhering to a correct Aqeedah will not fill others voids left open while practicing Deen of Allah.

Allah (SWT) let Muhammad (SAW) to set an extra-ordinary moral character for a period of forty years and than established His (SAW) prophecy. Even than Mushriqs of Macca failed to grasp Divine message of Allah.

Islam is composite of Ikhlas and Akhlaq.

Regards.

thank you brother..this is really so important among muslims today..how else can we expect others to turn to islam if we do not show our best behaviours and manners
 

kashif_nazeer

~~~Alhamdulillah~~~
:salam2:

:jazaak: for sharing akhi your posts are very beneficient mashaAllah.May Allah bless you with jannatul firdaus.Ameen.

There is akhlaq of how to behave in a congregation and in loneliness.There is akhlaq in every step!
Alhamdulillah for Islam that makes us what we are!

However I did not understand the last part of this hadith:

The Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam said: "The best Mu'mins(believers) are those who are best in their akhlaaq, those whose shoulders' are trodden over."

Kindly if anyone could explain it?


:jazaak:


:wasalam:
 

sachin4islam

Junior Member
As salam alaikum,

Are we in that stage?! I thought religions are well established. And truly I know of not one muslim that does the prayer and when delas with people he is sa bad. I truly fail to see what everyone seem to look so hard upon.

In Quran is said: "Believers are soft toward their brothers, and harsh toward disbelievers"

We salam

Walikum Assalam: Sis.

I am not harsh towards believers and how can I be so when I am still in state of infancy. Whatever I wrote is out of personal realization. I missed (after reversion) what I learnt about attributes of a Muslim during my Pre-Islamic days from Quran and Hadiths.

I expected to learn and become a better human being from Believers. I was never exposed to an Islamic niche.

Few days back a brother from TTI,my one of the most close friends,told me about an episode that took place in his native city in India. If I disclose the whole event here on TTI everyone is going to get an Ac shock. And than (if you come to know about that event) you will realize the extent of harshness that Muslims have tamed against each other.

Regards.
 

JenGiove

Junior Member
As salam alikum,

Thank you Jenn for the thorough reply. Though the stress of many posts lately and while some years now, is only placed in giving good example, as if muslims were beacon of bad behaviour.

Asalaamu alaikum,

Sister, the Qur'an itself repeats the same message in several places. Why is this, people have asked? Because it is important to learn. The fact that "stress" of posts have been about maintaining good behavior is NOT because Muslims are the beacon of bad behavior but assist in keeping in the forefront of the Muslim heart the fact that even during the hardest times, a Muslim must not forget to keep control of his heart, mind and hands. To persevere with patience. It is the same principle as the constant reminders to woman about covering their arwar (sp?). Why is it that the women are always the focus of this council? Because it is so easy to relax your diligence in the face of an easier way of dress.

I don't know what muslims should do more, only kiss the feet of disbelievers. To me Muslims are example of best akhlak toward others, in every place on earth I have happened to meet them. The problem is they are too soft with others and too harsh with each-other.

It is not a matter of "kissing the feet of disbelievers". It is a matter of displaying the greatest of patience. It is what separates a lover of Allah and someone who just provides lip-service to him.

You mention eye for an eye, but that it seems is never part of dawah, but if I justify a muslim action with this ayah, muslim themselves would call me with bad manners.

I think you mis-understand the bible verse. The person speaking is Jesus and he was saying to the people he was speaking with that they have heard one thing in the past (probably from the Jewish pharisees) but that what they heard was wrong. He was trying to correct mis-education. You are correct, retaliation for a wrong is never a good way to perform dawah. Mohammad was saying the same thing. That even in the face of vile and evil things, ALWAYS be the best because it rises you above those deeds and increases your emaan. Jesus said that just by being nice to those who are nice to you and by loving only your brothers (of faith) that it isn't a challenge to you and that it brings you no benefit. Mohammad also knew this. He knew that the benefit of displaying GREATER manners than the evil doer rises you out of the hell-fires.


We say what we do not do.

That's called "walking the talk"..When your deeds and behaviors match what you say, then you are "walking the talk" and is a wonderful example of faith and belief.


Quran and sunnah is only made dawah to please non-muslims, but we need dawah also to heal our wounds, to get stronger, to be a more solid community.

There are different forms of Dawah. It is narratted by Anas : Allah's Apostle said, "Help your brother, whether he is an oppressor or he is an oppressed one. People asked, "O Allah's Apostle! It is all right to help him if he is oppressed, but how should we help him if he is an oppressor?" The Prophet said, "By preventing him from oppressing others."(Bukhari-Volumn 003, Book 043, Hadith Number 624.)

By redirecting your brothers/sisters back from where they have stepped incorrectly, THAT is dawah as well...why? Because by improving your brothers/sisters step, you are helping them to rise above the evil deeds and be the best example to a heart that Allah might guide....lol! Think of it as Dawah by proxy!


There are tons of ayah and hadiths that do speak for unity of ummah, for healing the heart of the believers tried to what language is unable to do justice in describing, to justice that is far from being thought let alone stand for it, to prosperity of ummah, to saying the truth even in front of a tyrant and so much more. These are the dawah the muslim need to do with muslims. Heart of muslims are dying to only do dawah to non-muslims, it has become their centerpiece of attention. And what is more sad is that this type of dawah is only being promoted from the fear of non-muslims, their harm, not because of sincere care toward their guidance.

I have to agree with you, in part, with your idea that Muslims are focusing their dawah on Non-Muslims (since I am one :) ). It has been my own personal experience here on the boards that there are SOME who will speak to me kindly only to press me to take shahada. It is a rare thing to receive inquires as to my health, well-being or daily activities. Sometimes I am dismissed altogether simply because I choose not to take Shahada.

On the flip side, I have others with whom I hold so close to my heart and who hold me close to their hearts that I'm reminded of the hadith about neighbors being treated so nicely that Mohammad thought that the angel was going to direct him to give them part of his inheritance (I'm sorry but I can't remember or find the whole hadith at the moment).
 

esperanza

revert of many years
Walikum Assalam: Sis.

I am not harsh towards believers and how can I be so when I am still in state of infancy. Whatever I wrote is out of personal realization. I missed (after reversion) what I learnt about attributes of a Muslim during my Pre-Islamic days from Quran and Hadiths.

I expected to learn and become a better human being from Believers. I was never exposed to an Islamic niche.

Few days back a brother from TTI,my one of the most close friends,told me about an episode that took place in his native city in India. If I disclose the whole event here on TTI everyone is going to get an Ac shock. And than (if you come to know about that event) you will realize the extent of harshness that Muslims have tamed against each other.

Regards.

salam sisters and brothers..

sad to say that in although in theory all muslims should have the best behaviour..it is a sad reality that not all do
those who recommend dawah for muslims do not mean this as a criticism of muslims generally ,but before we can spread dawah to non muslims surely we should give the best possible image ot those who are muslims
sister sabina,i dont know in which part of the world you live,but in the modern world sadly in many muslim c:hijabi:ountries let alone in the west,there are muslims whose beahviour is far from ideal

we need to improve ourselves and strenghten muslim unity to be able to win the hearts and mins of non believers
 

sachin4islam

Junior Member
salam sisters and brothers..

sad to say that in although in theory all muslims should have the best behaviour..it is a sad reality that not all do
those who recommend dawah for muslims do not mean this as a criticism of muslims generally ,but before we can spread dawah to non muslims surely we should give the best possible image ot those who are muslims
sister sabina,i dont know in which part of the world you live,but in the modern world sadly in many muslim c:hijabi:ountries let alone in the west,there are muslims whose beahviour is far from ideal

we need to improve ourselves and strenghten muslim unity to be able to win the hearts and mins of non believers

Walikum Assalam: Sis.

That's what we hope and look for. After having been reverted we find all aspects of Deen in present scenario to be just theoretical,stings like barbs of honey bee.

Regards.
 

septithol

Banned
Jengiove wrote: It is not a matter of "kissing the feet of disbelievers". It is a matter of displaying the greatest of patience. It is what separates a lover of Allah and someone who just provides lip-service to him.

Jengiove: Regarding the 'kissing of feet', I got into some bad arguments a while back with a woman who claimed to be a 'Christian' but was one of the least pleasant people I know of. Among her other habits was that she liked to deliberately provoke people to anger, she would be warned by them that she was making them angry, but refuse to stop provoking them, and then when she finally made them very angry, would play all innocent, claim not to know why they were angry, and go around triumphantly pointing her finger at the other person becoming angry.

She also liked to accuse people and books of 'Christian Bashing'. Her version of 'Christian Bashing' was any person or book that would not 'kiss the feet' of her Christian religion, such that the book she accused of 'Christian Bashing' might have a few bad characters who were Christians (along with several good characters who were Christians), or would have any good characters at all who were not Christians.

Regarding people, if, among other things, they did not agree with her many rose colored lies about the Christian church, such as her claim that the Christian Church never threatened to torture Galileo, she would then accuse them, for telling the truth, of 'Christian Bashing'.
 

Aapa

Mirajmom
Assalaam walaikum,


Lets try this:

Common sense. When you invite someone over to your home you are very kind. We are the best of hosts. We are gentle with the guests.

When it comes to teaching our children we want them to be the best. We see the potential.

Same with faith. If a person is young in faith we are gentle. When a person is strong we faith we have greater expectations.

So we are not harsh. We gain strenght from strong Believers.
 

sabina isa

Junior Member
Jengiove wrote: It is not a matter of "kissing the feet of disbelievers". It is a matter of displaying the greatest of patience. It is what separates a lover of Allah and someone who just provides lip-service to him.

Jengiove: Regarding the 'kissing of feet', I got into some bad arguments a while back with a woman who claimed to be a 'Christian' but was one of the least pleasant people I know of. Among her other habits was that she liked to deliberately provoke people to anger, she would be warned by them that she was making them angry, but refuse to stop provoking them, and then when she finally made them very angry, would play all innocent, claim not to know why they were angry, and go around triumphantly pointing her finger at the other person becoming angry.

She also liked to accuse people and books of 'Christian Bashing'. Her version of 'Christian Bashing' was any person or book that would not 'kiss the feet' of her Christian religion, such that the book she accused of 'Christian Bashing' might have a few bad characters who were Christians (along with several good characters who were Christians), or would have any good characters at all who were not Christians.

Regarding people, if, among other things, they did not agree with her many rose colored lies about the Christian church, such as her claim that the Christian Church never threatened to torture Galileo, she would then accuse them, for telling the truth, of 'Christian Bashing'.

As salam,

I am grown with chrisitian believers, and I called it christian dawah, because every time we would have an argument , they would keep going well, if the argument would get stuck, as is most of the time with christian faith, they had a way out with this famous saying of Christ. I never have heard the full version. But these details are truly irrelevant to the discussion.
 

septithol

Banned
sabina isa wrote: I am grown with chrisitian believers, and I called it christian dawah, because every time we would have an argument , they would keep going well, if the argument would get stuck, as is most of the time with christian faith, they had a way out with this famous saying of Christ. I never have heard the full version. But these details are truly irrelevant to the discussion.

Not sure what the saying is, since you didn't write it, but it sounds like it could be an example of a logical fallacy known as 'circular reasoning'.
 
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