Please Help with marriage issue

Asalaamu Alaikoum, I am a relatively new revert to Islam and converted in 2008. Late in 2009 a brother contacted me and made a marriage proposal. The brother is morrocan and came to the UK 3 years ago to settle with his cousin whom he married, his marriage to his first wife broke down and he issued her 'Talaq' as well as taking proceedings in the civil courts to absolve this marriage by UK law. This I was aware of when I agreed to have an islamic marriage with this brother.
Over the past months it has come to light that my husbands Visa was revoked in November of 2009 and that his first wife is refusing to sign their divorce papers.
We started looking into what we could do regarding the situation and discovered that a pre-requisite to having a religious wedding ceremony here in the UK if one of the partys is NOT of British origin is the need for a "certificate of approval" (COA) which has to be sought via the Home office and produced to imam (or other) prior to the religious ceremony taking place. My total dilema is that I did not know that this COA was a legal requirement and I feel that I have been led into breaking the law by both husband and imam whom was my acting wali.
I am also now questioning as to whether my islamic wedding is valid and again this is making me sick with worry. I feel like I have been completely tricked by the person I married and throughout this he has made me feel as though gaining UK citizenship and sexual gratification were his sole purposes for pursuing me for marriage.
We have yet to live with eachother as he is located in another town and has refused to move in with me and 'start afresh'...so we have literally only spent weekends with eachother since our marriage began.
This was such an important part of my life and I just feel that through my own ignorance and not thouroughly researching all this prior I have fallen foul... I did Istikarah prior and totally entered into all of this on good faith.
Please if any of you can offer any advise it really would be much appreciated...Is my Islamic wedding valid? what do I need to do to end it and what will my rights be in islamic divorce? Whats going to happen to me now I have violated UK law...and should I consult anyone about it?
Thanks in advance and again much appreciated

Dear sister; :salam2:

I am sorry for all that you are going through, i think that your marriage is islamic , but i have no idea about laws in Uk , be patient and try o solve your problem quietly.May Allah make every thing easy for you.

wa alaykum salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh

Dear sister, I am sorry to hear about this sad event, but, inshaAllah you will be able to move forward and Allah will help you to attain happiness in this life and the next. I ask Allah to aid and assist you and all of us in that. Amin.

Please do not worry, things will be ok. Do not blame yourself sister, it is not your fault. You trusted those people and had many hopes, they abused that trust. Unfortunately, I have heard many stories similar to this. Its disappointing.

I suggest getting in contact with the Muslim Shariah Council. They have experience dealing with such matters and will be able to advise you accordingly. They are the perhaps the best people to approach in the UK :

http://www.islamic-sharia.org/

They are a charity providing advice and guidance from an Islamic perspective. They can help with marriage, divorce, financial, business and other issues. I would suggest asking for Dr Suhaib Hassan. I have helped other brothers and sisters by getting them in touch with this organisation, alhamdulillah they are very good.

They have email and phone numbers available for you to contact them.

InshaAllah I ask Allah that this will be the beginning of some steps that will alleviate this hardship from your shoulders.

May Allah protect us all from the evil doers, both apparent and hidden, amin.

So verily, with the hardship, there is relief, Verily, with the hardship, there is relief. So when you have finished, then stand up for Allâh’s worship. And to your Lord turn your invocations. Quran 94:5-8

assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh

Thankyou so much for your kind words and may Allah reward you all. I will get onto the shariah council.
He is now refusing to return the keys to my home or to make an offer of any financial support. I feel as though he has not only violated my deen but now he is happy to make this all as difficult for me as possible by making my security feel violated too.
Its ridiculous as we have both agreed that the marriage is unreconcilable.
The really tragic thing is he actually contacted me via this website and when Ive looked into his prior postings it actually seems clear to me now that he was targeting new reverts with this specific purpose in mind.

I pray that no other woman falls foul to this mans deception. I just feel so stupid...He was always completely disrespectful about his first wife which had already caused problems with his own family and now he seems hellbent on destroying the honour of mine.
Do you think I should address this whole issue with the COA being a legal requirement? as Ive been witness to many of these marriages taking place without the COA being requested when it clearly is needed?
it is also my understanding that as muslims we should obide by the laws of the land as we take them as covenants, unless it goes against us practising our deen? (correct me if I am wrong on this)
I just cant bare the idea of this happening to another woman and it just seems wrong to me that the imams are allowing this to happen when they are acting on behalf of such an important part of a persons life as a muslim.
Once again thankyou for your warm words. I will get on to what you have suggested.

:salam2:

I am very sorry to hear about this, respected sister in Islam. I hope and pray it all works out for you at the end. Please keep in touch with the authorities that brother Mabsoot mentioned, hopefully they will be capable of assisting you in the right manner. Please let us know if you need help, we will try to do our best InshaAllah.

We will keep you in our prayers InshaAllah.

Wasalaamalaykum waa rahmatullahi

Salamu alaykum

just to remind all sisters or new sisters to Islam to ignore those Muslim men who ask for "a new muslimah who excepted Islam" Allah knows their intentions but usually is mostly for citizenship. They believe that it is halal to deceive but it is zinah (fornication) on their behalf and no blame on the sisters who don't know.

That is why we don't allows marriage proposals here on tti. May Allah assist all those sisters who have been wronged.

Please let us know of anyone who is doing proposals in private or open so we stop them inshallah

Allah knows best

wassalam

:salam2:wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu...

i'm so sorry sister.my heart goes out to you.this is ridiculous!!their own poor faith lets them play with the faith and feelings of others.you are a srong muslim sister.put your faith in ALLAH and may he guide you to that what is best for you...

on his part this is shameless!!i'm disgusted that he would say he believe in ALLAH's power and be so confident to create this kind of hell of others.may ALLAH guide him...


may ALLAH help you out sister.

Assalaam walaikum,

Sister, Insha'Allah will reward you. You have gained wisdom. I wrote a thread on deception not too long ago. It happens to the best of us. Think of the countless sisters you can help.

We are here to listen and give you support. If you need anything feel free to PM me. ( I'm the old lady here ).

Insha'Allah, you will be rewarded with a pious and righteous brother.

Asalaamualaykum wrwb,

This sort of thing seems to be happening quite alot subhanallah! i was just reading a similar story on another forum! US sisters need to raise awareness of this issue amongst vulnerable muslimah. May Allah protect us all.

muharram23 said:

Salamu alaykum

just to remind all sisters or new sisters to Islam to ignore those Muslim men who ask for "a new muslimah who excepted Islam" Allah knows their intentions but usually is mostly for citizenship. They believe that it is halal to deceive but it is zinah (fornication) on their behalf and no blame on the sisters who don't know.

That is why we don't allows marriage proposals here on tti. May Allah assist all those sisters who have been wronged.

Please let us know of anyone who is doing proposals in private or open so we stop them inshallah

Allah knows best

wassalam

Click to expand...

Wa Allaicumu Sallam wa rahmatullah wa barakatuhu

Jazzak Allah khair dear brother Muharram for adviceing your sisters in Islam, may Allah reword you and may we all learn from eachothers mistakes. Ameen suma ameen

If I can only add something on your post of what we all must be aware is that in these kind of situations and simular we can see in better light Allahs order for us to seek knowledge and educate us, and His advice to the believers when Allah asks of us to be patient and that every decision we bring must be wise and consulted with those who have more knowledge then us and who could help us in doing the right thing.

Indead Allah has sent on the Earth good and bad people and He has made difference among them and He has helped us to recognise them only we need to be very wise when treateing them and to not fully trust to anyone untill we do not see their real intentions. What is more sad and worrying is that this has become practice of many who want to use kindness and trust of others. May Allah guide them all to the right path. Ameen

Also to add is that it is duty of all to know the legal system of the country which is applyed on them, as it is very important to know which are your rights and how you can protect them from one side and from other side which are your obligations. It is well known saying which sais :"Ignorance of the law harms".

May Allah help you dear sister in your hardship, He knows the best why some things are the way they are and remember that one evil is usually obstacle to greater evil.

May Allah bless you and keep you in His protection always.ameen

Assalamu allaicum wa raahmtullah wa barakatuhu

You know he always prayed regularly when he was with me, he had extensive knowledge of Quran as he had had an islamic upbringing and Arabic was his mother tongue...I thought that when we looked at a partners suitability those were the things needed...You know knowledge of deen and thats what I went for..I guess I just got blinded by that and thats what aided him in taking advantage. I just cant get my head around the fact that someones been given Islam as a gift from God and yet fails to just apply even basic human kindness's.
I have learnt such an important lesson form this though and I believe I had to go through this to do something with the knowledge I gained from it.. There are laws in place here in the UK to stop these things happening as I originally stated and I will attempt to upload the document or I can email it over to anyone who wants to circulate it around. However the Imams are ignoring these laws ???It just doesnt make sense to me and I can only put it down to complete ignorance (Im holding my own hands up to that too as I should really of known all this stuff prior) you know Islamic law and Uk laws can actually compliment each other and I thought intergration was a part of forming a better society ...It does seem to be happening and we have to address why.
Sorry for the rant Im all over the place really I guess Im in total shock at what has happened. Thankyou all so much though youve all said some wonderful heartwarming things.
God save us all from these evil people and their actions and lets hope they can come back and mend the error in their ways.

Asja said:

Indead Allah has sent on the Earth good and bad people and He has made difference among them and He has helped us to recognise them only we need to be very wise when treateing them and to not fully trust to anyone untill we do not see their real intentions. What is more sad and worrying is that this has become practice of many who want to use kindness and trust of others. May Allah guide them all to the right path. Ameen

Also to add is that it is duty of all to know the legal system of the country which is applyed on them, as it is very important to know which are your rights and how you can protect them from one side and from other side which are your obligations. It is well known saying which sais :"Ignorance of the law harms".

Click to expand...

I am in total agreement with you and understand these points well now, becoming muslim was one of the biggest thing I ever did in my life and I thought I was safe in the hands of muslims so what you wrote (which I think you submitted just as I made my last comment) is so so significant ..May Allah reward you, bless you and keep you safe always

~Salam to all!


:salam2:

:ma:
All our brothers and sisters has answer well to your problem.
:tti_sister:~May Allah swt reward them~Amin!

and

:Hope your troubled will be ease and solve
as The Holy Month of Ramadhan is approaching.

:tti_sister:~May Allah swt guide and help you sister~Amin!

Take Care!
~Wassalam.

I'm really sorry to hear that.

Althought i cant offer much advice from here in California, but i can say that this will pass, and he will soon become a distant memory you will barely ever remember.

And remember Allah has ordained a perfect order to this world. Everyonw will get exactly what thesy deserve, no less, no more, btu exactly. And he will pa the price either in this world or the next. So advise you to hold no ill will, just find a solution to distance your self from this man and this relationship and find the laws that are in your favor

And inshallah dont give hope. There are a lot of good muslim men like my self, that would never do that to a woman, and i hope you make through this fine and inshallah find a good husband soon enough

Asalaamu alaikoum,

Once again thankyou all for your kind words ...Im not sure how long its going to take me to get over this, as the saying goes once bitten twice shy but insha'Allah it'll all work out for the best.
Jazak Allah Kheir

Assalaamu alaikum dear sister,

I would like to welcome you to Islam and to the TTI family. glad to have you with us.

I am really sorry about your situation.....may Allaah ease your suffering. This is a test of faith. STAY STRONG....IT'LL PAY OFF! inshaAllaah
Allaah said: with every difficulty there comes ease wait for moment when Allaah blesses you with something good. Stay strong and be patient for truly Allaah loves those who are patient during calamities. Hold on for there is good after this horrible thing.
may Allaah help you and help every Muslimah who has suffered this deception. ameen
hug I hope inshaAllaah all will work out perfect...SOON

Islam - a Best relgiion
But
Its has Been called as bad due to behavior of some of u

May ALLAH guide us all (ameen)