Essay After Revision!!!!!

Albint_Almuslima

Im Proud 2 B Me!
:salam2:

I seen everyones replies to my other thread and I thank everyone for helping me out!!

this is the essay after i had put in what some had said and Insha Allah i will add more into it. I did not write the people who replied names on the essay because i did not ask them, so now i am asking Hussain Mahammed, mirajmom, and basicofislam is it ok if i use your names in my essay? if not its OK!!


Thanx,



Subject: Hijab
Topic: Should the Hijab be banned?
Proposition: No, the Hijab should not be banned.

Throughout the world, Muslims have been discriminated against; Muslims have been beaten, raped and killed. However, this was not enough for the non-Muslim countries, now they are trying to ban Muslim Women from wearing the Hijab. They are discriminating against women simply because of they way they are dressed. Should the Hijab be banned? As a Muslim Woman, I believe that the Hijab should not be banned for any given reasons.


My Hijab is a statement of my identity, it is my dignity and my self-esteem, and it is my weapon. I am a person who wears the Hijab so I can deter men from treating us women like sex objects, as they have always done. I concentrate on my personality and my mind and ignore my manifestation. Now they want to ban the Hijab, why, it is not bothering us, so why is it bothering everyone else? Everyone thinks that we are oppressed but what they do not know is that every time we place it on our heads we feel tranquil and content. I know when others look at me they might think its imprisonment, but it is a proud display of my sanctuary and chastity; it is my stronghold and my freedom.


Taking off my Hijab will be like taking off my moral character. Just like the young German woman of Turkish descent, Emine Öztürk, said after having to go through court for wearing a Hijab "It's part of my identity, how can I lay my identity at the door of the classroom?" People judge the scarf from what they see, but they never actually asked us Muslim women how does it make us feel. "I think it's very sad that this society continues to look at the head scarf as something of a threat," said Öztürk. "I find it shocking that so many things are projected onto the head scarf without anyone ever asking the women who wear them." The Hijab is our FREEDOM, we feel comfortable wearing it and we are not forcing anyone else to wear it, so why try to ban it? It is not hurting anyone and it certainty is not hurting us; however, it is a protection for us.


In France, the Hijab was banned from school, and police were called in to prevent 22 Muslim girls from entering their school wearing the Hijab. That is something to be offended by. Why does the Hijab bother everyone so much, is it not us that is wearing it? We are not requesting from anyone to wear the Hijab, we want to wear it so let us be. In the Bill of Rights in the First Amendment, it clearly states, “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.” This means we have the right to practice our religion and our religion tells us to wear Hijab.


Many people believe that this policy of banning the Hijab is undoubtedly discriminatory against Muslims, as it targets Muslim women who choose to wear Hijab for religious reasons. I had placed this topic “Should the Hijab be banned” in an Islamic forum known as “TurnToIslam.com” in which I am a member of, to see other Muslim opinions. A female girl stated “It is like telling these women: You are not free to follow your religion; your freedom to practice it is conditional upon our definition and understanding of what religion should be. Hence, you may practice those parts, which we approve of and agree with. Or stated differently, while you have unlimited freedom to undress, your freedom to dress is conditional upon our freedom to dictate which part of your body you can cover and which part you cannot.” Another woman who is trying to raise her children into Islam said, “What many fail to realize is the woman in Hijab is not looking for attention. It is the exact opposite. In the world of work, a woman in Hijab is going to be more productive. She will not waste time trying to socialize. She is not looking for a date, or to move up the business ladder (Her brains do that) .The fear is the seriousness that a Hijabi brings. Like a wedding band, it is the outer symbol of an inner grace. The woman presents her Hijab as a reminder of who she is at all times.” Now let us look at a Muslim male’s perspective, “NUNS too cover their heads, fully covered body so why not a word is said against them? In addition, they depict Mary in their pictures wearing a headscarf, if they are Christians and depict her in that way, why don’t they themselves follow her? Orthodox Christians wear headscarf, why don’t they ban it? Why they target only Muslims?” one of the males stated. Is there anyone who can answer his questions? I do not think so because he makes great points. This is a prejudice act against Muslims.


Allah has stated in the Qur’an that women must guard their modesty. " Say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty ; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what must ordinarily appear thereof. " [Qur’an: 24.31].


To Conclude, No one can ever deprive us of our dignity, no matter how much they try. We will never take off our Hijab no matter how many times they ban it. It is our self-respect and we will never remove it for anyone.
 

alkathiri

As-Shafaa'i(Brother)
Assalamualaikum warahmatullah

:salam2:

I thought it was good. I read it once concentrating on grammatical errors...but it seems fine...Alhamdulilah...
 

Albint_Almuslima

Im Proud 2 B Me!
Thank you so much,
now I feel a little more confident about my essay!!!

Insha Allah this essay can make everyone know what the Hijab means to Muslim women, or half of what it means to US!

Thanx Big Bros,

 

alkathiri

As-Shafaa'i(Brother)
Im bad at grammer!!

U see grammer and I dont have a connection/bond!! We R enemies!!LOL


:salam2:

i realised that.

"Then" becomes "than".
"A woman..." becomes "A women"
"Congratulations" become " Condradulation" (something like that)

These are just some....:SMILY335:
 

Albint_Almuslima

Im Proud 2 B Me!
:salam2:

WOW!!!!!!!! HATER!!! LOL

Thanx for pointing that out!!! ill keep that in mind and Insha Allah i wont make that mistake again!

Excuse me!!! let me ask u a question when u type fast dont u make a mistake? well thats what happened to me! i type really fast i dont realize that i make a mistake.

Take Care,
 

hussain.mahammed

a lonely traveller
As salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wabrakatuhu sister
Allahu Akbar, my name would be appearing in the school magazine of a far away continent. ****combed my beard, making myself more dignified****
lol just kidding.
I dont have any problem with that. May Allah bless you,put barakah in your deeds and keep you in the siratal mustakim always.
wa/salam
 

Jihan

Junior Member
hey i was commenting on your your it was really nice... but i had some suggesting for your intro.. WAllahi i spent nearly and hour trying to figure what wording it would make the intro more stronger.... i was about touch enter when my sister turned off the computer.. i was ready to cry!!!!!
well anyways i was wondering is it too late to do revisions... because i still wanted to let you know about my suggestions?


ps: i loved your essay!!!!

(this time i better touch enter quickly before my sister comes..lol)
 

Aapa

Mirajmom
Sister,

You are more than welcome to use my name.

Slight suggestions. In the introduction start with more of educating your reader. Remember, most people don't feel that Muslims are being discriminated against. You want to invite your reader slowy and gently and then hit them with the big punch. Feed your reader...for example...We live in a world that revels in freedom of expression for individuals. However, today we find a paradox. Women who want to exert their rights are now being victamized...the preceding sentences allow the reader to form their own opinion and want to be reinforced that their opinion is correct.
You want to gain sympathy for your point of view. You want the reader to buy into your ideas..
I would also make two paragraphs. You have one about a woman's perspective. Now, make the male's perspective another paragraph.

And please do let us know what your grade is. InshaAllah, it wil be an A.
 
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