confusion. plse answer me.

[justice101]

brothers and sisters in islam, i hope u r all ok and healthy alhamdulilah
i wanted to ask, are we allowed to have female friends cuz i have alot and most of them are muslims we dont do any thing i see them as sisters and they see me as a brother, we never do anything bad we play sometimes, but we dont go far beyond we even sometimes try tomake it clear for each of us that wedont have feelings except brotherly, sometimes me and these 2 girls go to debate christians, is that haram i personally think not cuz wat we r supposed to stay away from is being alone and zina, we do and i hope ALLAH helps us to do, but i really wanted to know is it haram?

[ahmed_indian]

,

may Allah reward u for ur concern about obeying Allah.but brother, having friendship with opposite gender is not allowed in Islam.

sounds tough when u remember the blessings of Allah and the pleasure of paradise, it'll become easy. inshallah.

maybe u dont have any feelings now, but how about future? maybe u dont love someone, but can u assure that some girl will not fall in love with u?

just open news channel/newspaper, and sadly u'll find many incidents of heartbreaks, suicide, murder.....why? becoz it was one-sided love.

read this bro:
http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/S...=1119503545452

PS: for dawah, its not necessary for both of u to be together.

[Nurain]

I really need this now.

[The_truth]

Originally Posted by justice101

brothers and sisters in islam, i hope u r all ok and healthy alhamdulilah
i wanted to ask, are we allowed to have female friends cuz i have alot and most of them are muslims we dont do any thing i see them as sisters and they see me as a brother, we never do anything bad we play sometimes, but we dont go far beyond we even sometimes try tomake it clear for each of us that wedont have feelings except brotherly, sometimes me and these 2 girls go to debate christians, is that haram i personally think not cuz wat we r supposed to stay away from is being alone and zina, we do and i hope ALLAH helps us to do, but i really wanted to know is it haram?

Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, unfortunatley brother thats exactly how it starts off. It always starts as something innocent like having an innocent friendship with the opposite sex and then inevitabley it moves onto feelings developing between the guy and girl and then it goes on from there. It is shaythan who is fooling us into thinking that this is innocent and won't ever lead to anything but in fact doing is he is luring us into his trap!

Once the feelings have developed it then becomes very difficult for the couple to let go of each other and then inevitabley someone will get hurt and even scarred for life and gain the wrath and anger of Allah!

Brother save yourself this evil because you are doing exactly what most people do who get into haraam relationships!

It ALWAYS starts as a person thinking its innocent and will never lead to anything but that is EXACTLY what shaythan wants you to think!

Whatever Allah has ordered on us is the BEST for us in everyway! Trust me on that and trust those who have been through hell because of getting into haraam relationships which started off as innocent friendships! It is forbiden to even touch a non mahram let alone play with her. When a man and a women are together then shaythan is third party. You can re-assure yourselves as much as you want that nothing will happen but thats the shaythans biggest decveption for he makes us complacent and then attacks with full force!

Here is just some evidance from the Qur'an and sunnah that free mixing and intermingling between the sexes is haram and leads to further haraam.

1. Allah says: “And when you ask the ladies for anything, ask them from before a screen. That makes for greater purity for your hearts and for theirs.” [Sûrah al-Ahzâb: 53] For women to go about uncovered in the company of men is inarguably a gross violation of the command given in this verse.

2. It is prohibited for men to join women in one place in the absence of at least one of the women’s close male relatives. The Prophet (peace be upon him) forbade men and women from being alone together. He said: “Never is a man alone with a woman except that Satan is the third party with them.”

The Prophet (peace be upon him) also said: “Do not enter into the company of women.”

A man then asked him: “What about her male in-laws?”

The Prophet (peace be upon him) replied: “The in-law is the most dangerous”.

This hadîth emphasizes the importance of being wary of in-laws since they are likely to have more opportunities to be alone with the woman and to see her as others do not get the opportunity to see her.

The private meeting between a man and an unchaperoned woman is one of the serious forms of mixing that can take place between the sexes. Temptations are worse when the people know that they are shielded from the sight of others.

Ibn Daqîq al-`Îd makes the following important observation: “We must take into consideration whether or not the man’s arrival at a place brings about a situation where he is alone with the woman. If it does not do so, it is not unlawful for him to go there.” (2/181)

This point was made clear by the Prophet (peace be upon him) when he said: “No man should enter into the presence of a woman after this day unless he is accompanied by one or two other men.” [Sahîh Muslim]

3. There are numerous evidences that the woman may not shake hands with men who are not among her closest relatives.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) never shook hands with an unrelated woman. Umaymah b. Raqîqah said: “I came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) with a group of the women of Madinah to swear fealty for Islam. The women informed Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) that they wished to swear fealty to him. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: ‘I do not shake hands with women. The way I accept the pledge from one woman is the same as with one hundred women.” [al-Muwatta’, Sunan al-Tirmidhî, Sunan al-Nasa’î and Sunan Ibn Majah].

The Prophet (peace be upon him) also said: “It is better for one of you to be pierced by a steel pin in his head than to touch the hand of a strange woman.” [Al-Mundhirî mentions that all the narrators of this hadîth are trustworthy

4. The Qur’ân clearly forbids women from being soft of speech while talking to men. Allah says: “Be not too complaisant of speech, lest one in whose heart is a disease should be moved with desire: but speak with a speech (that is) proper.” [Sûrah al-Ahzâb: 32].

5. There is evidence that women may not sit with strange men while wearing perfume. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Any woman who puts on perfume then goes and passes by some men to let them find her scent is a type of adulteress.” [Musnad Ahmad, Sunan al-Tirmidhî, Sunan Abî Dâwûd, and Sunan al-Nasâ’î with a sound chain of transmission]

6. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “The best of rows in prayer for the man is the first row and the worst for him is the last, and the best of rows for the women is the last row and the worst for her is the first.” [Sahîh Muslim].

If this advice is being given for men and women when they are in their purest frame of mind and engaged in prayer, then how should they be expected to conduct themselves in other situations?

Ibn `Abbâs relates that he prayed one of the `Îd prayers with the Prophet (peace be upon him). He informs us that the Prophet (peace be upon him) prayed and offered a sermon, then he went to the women and offered to them a separate sermon, admonishing them and encouraging them to give charity. [Sahîh al-Bukhârî]

Ibn Hajr offers the following observations about this hadîth: “The fact that he went to the women separately shows that the women were assembled separately from the men and were not mixed in with them.” [Fath al-Bârî (2/466)]

7. Once the Prophet (peace be upon him) saw men and women mixing together on the road upon their departure from the mosque. He said to the women: “Hold back a bit. You do not have to walk in the middle of the road. You may keep to the sides.” The narrator of the hadîth commented that after that time, women would come so close to the buildings that their dresses would sometime cling to the walls.” [Sunan Abî Dâwûd with a sound chain of transmission]

Ibn `Umar related that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said about one of the mosque’s doors: “We should leave this door exclusively for women to use.” Ibn `Umar, until he died, never again entered through that door. [Sunan Abî Dâwûd with a sound chain of transmission]

Umm Salamah said: “When the Prophet (peace be upon him) completed the prayer, the women would get up to leave. He would then wait awhile before standing.” Ibn Shahâb said: “I believe that he waited for a while to give the women an opportunity to depart before the men.” [Sahîh al-Bukhârî]

Ibn Hajr comments: “In the hadîth, we see that it is disliked for men and women to mix on the road. How much more, then, should such mixing be avoided inside of houses.” [Fath al-Bârî (2/336)]

8. It was related in al-Bukhârî that women at the time of the Prophet (peace be upon him) did not circumambulate the Ka`bah along with the men. `Â’ishah used to go around the Ka`bah at a good distance from the men and avoided mixing with them. Once another woman bade to her to go forward with her so they could touch the corner of the Ka`bah. `Â’ishah refused to do so. [Sahîh al-Bukhârî]

One of `Âishah’s handmaidens came to her and said: “O Mother of believers, I went around the Ka`bah seven times and touched the corner twice or trice”.

`Âishah replied: “May Allah not reward you for pushing your way through men. It would have been sufficient for you to you to say “Allah Akbar” as you passed by”. [Musnad al-Shâfi`î]

There are two things that this shows us. First, `Â’ishah did not hesitate to circumambulate the Ka`bah when there were men around, nor did she forbid other women from doing so. She only refrained from crowding into men and mixing with them and this is what she prohibited others from doing. This shows us in the clearest of terms that the mere presence of men and women in the same place is not prohibited.

Second, the mixing and contact between men and women circumambulating the Ka`bah that unavoidably occurs during Hajj under today’s crowded conditions cannot be used as proof that such mixing is generally allowed. Firstly, the practice of the people does not constitute any sort of evidence in Islamic Law. Secondly, what is happening today during Hajj is unavoidable. It is permitted out of necessity and cannot be made into a general rule for all times and circumstances. It would be fruitless for us to try and demand that women avoid contact with men while circumambulating the Ka`bah during Hajj. It would be equally impossible to ask them to delay their circumambulations until the crowds depart, especially since the women on Hajj are always accompanied by the others who came with them who cannot be forced to wait around.

It is pure sophistry for anyone to use these exceptional circumstances to argue that men and women are allowed to mingle under circumstances where no necessity exists. It is just as baseless as taking the other extreme and declaring the mere presence or men and women in the same place to be unlawful mixing.

We will conclude by mentioning a few verses of the Qur’ân. Allah says: “Nor come nigh to adultery”. In this verse, Allah does not say “Do not commit adultery” but tells us not even to come close to it. This means that everything that may seduce a person to fall into adultery is unlawful.

Moreover, Allah says: “Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them.” and says: “And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty.” [Sûrah al-Nûr: 30-31] This shows us how men and women are to conduct themselves.

Check out these links aswell:

How Should a Muslim Woman Conduct Herself?

http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/S...EAskTheScholar

Talking with Members of the Opposite Sex

http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/S...EAskTheScholar

Hugging the Opposite Sex

http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/S...EAskTheScholar

[revert2007]

brother The_TRuth has said very well and i dont hv any comment..even though we know our intention,but syaitan is very cunning an du can never know that it is syaitan's work...so just keep away from these girls coz Allah knows what He said in quran ...if not it wont be forbidden in islam

[Hard Rock Moslem]

Indian always say do not place cotton next to fire...you know what I mean?

[nyerekareem]

as someone who hasn't been a muslim for a whole lifetime, i understand the hardship in the segregating of the opposite genders in islam for a revert. it's hard at first but when you begin to seek the logic behind the restriction, it'll become easier to manage.

one thing that i notice is that christianity and the west engage in intervention. which means that they like to tackle their problems while they occur. whereas islam is preventive, meaning that we try to avoid any issues before they arrive.

[ayman1]

Originally Posted by nyerekareem

one thing that i notice is that christianity and the west engage in intervention. which means that they like to tackle their problems while they occur. whereas islam is preventive, meaning that we try to avoid any issues before they arrive.

What a wonderful way to put it, brother! Jazaaka Allaahu Khayran. We've seen what intervention, as opposed to prevention, did in Hurricane Katrina! The government commissioned an engineering consultant to study the New Orleans levees for steadiness against hurricanes. The consultant studied the matter scientifically and reported that they cannot withstand a category 5 hurricane and that the result of their failure would be catastrophic. The Bush administration did not like the report because it meant they would have to part with money to fortify or rebuild the levees. They decided to dismiss the report. You know what happened next.

[rightpath_357]

Originally Posted by Hard Rock Moslem

Indian always say do not place cotton next to fire...you know what I mean?

lolz- no not really- could u explain?

[BinKhadija]

Brother justice101, please yes try to avoid those girls. Not that they are bad or that they are good individual; it's just for the sake of Allah. You don't know when someone starts having feelings about you or vice versa, and the situation gets much complicated every minute. As the brothers have said above that Islam emphases more on prevention than on cure. In a nutshell, it's forbidden and there's reason for it - I took it quite a while to understand this; try learning from others mistakes!

Instead, please go and try being more active in your local mosque and take part in dawah tasks there, etc. Insha'Allah.

Originally Posted by rightpath_357

lolz- no not really- could u explain?

Must have heard of rhetorical questioning? Lol.

[Aisya al-Humaira]

Originally Posted by nyerekareem

one thing that i notice is that christianity and the west engage in intervention. which means that they like to tackle their problems while they occur. whereas islam is preventive, meaning that we try to avoid any issues before they arrive.

very true indeed
and well said too (as a brother has mentioned)

[Hard Rock Moslem]

Originally Posted by rightpath_357

lolz- no not really- could u explain?

Light wind will be enough to move the cotton to the fire….who is fire and who is cotton you decide, but the wind will be the shaitaan….

[ahmed_indian]

Originally Posted by Hard Rock Moslem

Light wind will be enough to move the cotton to the fire….who is fire and who is cotton you decide, but the wind will be the shaitaan….

...short but very good explanation bro.

i think men are cotton in this matter. though wind may take few fire sparkles towards the cotton but thru wind, cotton can come in bands quickly and easily towards the fire.

it doesnt think about getting burnt and being destroyed.

[justice101]

i knw u guys will be tellin me that i cant cuz am supposed to stay away from zina but i think about it and i say the only reason we r friends is cuz of islam 75% of our conversation is bout islam the rest is just stupid stuff its like wat we do here except i can c them i play n .......... am lost cuz i knw islam is the way to life n so i knw that its 100% right but there are hadith like one that said Aisha RA was angry at another sahabi and they quarrelled and after that many sahabas came and tralked to her and hea was begging her i mean thats a sensitive topic there are going to be tears cuz she cried at the end and they became friends again, i mean c it was islam that put them together, and plus we all avoid being alone even if i go to thier house i stay wiv thier bros so we dont really stay alone in a room and they never ever showed me any part of their body xcept wat is seen and we r soo shy of each other some times but not more i know islam wont say if a girl taks to u reun away n say u r shaitan no there r restricctions but there are also places where religion is easy ALLAH knew that we will live together till qiyamah so HE wouldnt say run away from ewach other but AVOID ZINA

[Seeking Allah's Mercy]

Originally Posted by ahmed_indian

...short but very good explanation bro.

i think men are cotton in this matter. though wind may take few fire sparkles towards the cotton but thru wind, cotton can come in bands quickly and easily towards the fire.

it doesnt think about getting burnt and being destroyed.

erm.brother it could be the other way around too.

[al-hakim]

assalamualaikum,
forgive me if i were wrong.i think islam permits the friendship between opposite gender but there are certain limitations for example a man & a woman cannot sit alone together,if they want they need to bring someone to sit down together(to avoid 'fitnah').a man can have a conversation with another woman as long as the issues are for the benefit of all parties for example discussing at the workplace,for bussineses purposes,education,healthcare, etc.
-wallahualam

[arzafar]

regarding the friendship between girls and boys all i can say is that it can lead to trouble even if you do EVERYTHING correctly. You might see her as your sister but does she view you like a brother?
however, im also against this view that boys and girls should break communication altogether as some opinions are. if Allah wanted us to do that he would have told us "dont go near non mahram girls" instead of "dont go near Zina". however, communication should only be done for an important purpose and not some vain talk other motives. and please leaving doing dawa to girls to muslim sisters or a mosque. they are doing a good job it seems and boys should concentrate on converting non muslim boys. (women converts lead male converts 4 to 1)

after all of that i have a few question of my own

1) if a woman initiates a handshake, should i respond or refuse? But refusing a hand shake is considered very rude. i shook handshake with my school headmistress a few times during my school days. She was very old and sometimes she even walked up the stairs with my help. she was like my grand mother! i cant believe its not allowed to help an old woman walk.

2) in case of emergency are we allowed to help the opposite sex. giving first aid, carrying to safety, saving a drowning person.

[BinKhadija]

Originally Posted by arzafar

regarding the friendship between girls and boys all i can say is that it can lead to trouble even if you do EVERYTHING correctly. You might see her as your sister but does she view you like a brother?
however, im also against this view that boys and girls should break communication altogether as some opinions are. if Allah wanted us to do that he would have told us "dont go near non mahram girls" instead of "dont go near Zina". however, communication should only be done for an important purpose and not some vain talk other motives. and please leaving doing dawa to girls to muslim sisters or a mosque. they are doing a good job it seems and boys should concentrate on converting non muslim boys. (women converts lead male converts 4 to 1)

after all of that i have a few question of my own

1) if a woman initiates a handshake, should i respond or refuse? But refusing a hand shake is considered very rude. i shook handshake with my school headmistress a few times during my school days. She was very old and sometimes she even walked up the stairs with my help. she was like my grand mother! i cant believe its not allowed to help an old woman walk.

2) in case of emergency are we allowed to help the opposite sex. giving first aid, carrying to safety, saving a drowning person.

There's no need to stop any communication between males & females. That's extreme views, I too think. You would remember, brother, many sahabbah (R.H.) used to learn deen from Hadhrat Ayesha (R.A.).

If she was a old lady and you knew what you were doing, there's nothing wrong helping her. Remember, the Prophet also helped that old woman with luggage who then reverted. However, if it's a girl of about your age I think she could be told that handshakes aren't allowed in your religion. She should be able to understand that; it's not complicated.

Regarding your second question, I remember Dr. Zakir's response to that one and he said that always follow this: let the small loss take place to avoid a bigger one. Touching opposite gender is a smaller loss and someone dyeing a bigger one, in this context. So yeah we should help the female in danger.

And, Allah knows best.
Wa'salaam

[thariq2005]

Originally Posted by justice101

i knw u guys will be tellin me that i cant cuz am supposed to stay away from zina but i think about it and i say the only reason we r friends is cuz of islam 75% of our conversation is bout islam the rest is just stupid stuff its like wat we do here except i can c them i play n .......... am lost cuz i knw islam is the way to life n so i knw that its 100% right but there are hadith like one that said Aisha RA was angry at another sahabi and they quarrelled and after that many sahabas came and tralked to her and hea was begging her i mean thats a sensitive topic there are going to be tears cuz she cried at the end and they became friends again, i mean c it was islam that put them together, and plus we all avoid being alone even if i go to thier house i stay wiv thier bros so we dont really stay alone in a room and they never ever showed me any part of their body xcept wat is seen and we r soo shy of each other some times but not more i know islam wont say if a girl taks to u reun away n say u r shaitan no there r restricctions but there are also places where religion is easy ALLAH knew that we will live together till qiyamah so HE wouldnt say run away from ewach other but AVOID ZINA

As salamu 'alaikkum brother, the Qur'aan ayah is very clear, it does not say AVOID zina/do not commit zina, rather the Allah T'ala commands us not to come near zina...

Allah T'ala says:
“And come not near to unlawful sex. Verily, it is a Faahishah (i.e. anything that transgresses its limits: a great sin, and an evil way that leads one to hell unless Allaah Forgives him)”[al-Isra’ 17:32]

Remember Shaytaan will give you waswas and it will all start off as something pure etc, but it will end up in great evil and that is how shaytaan takes you down. He never tries to make u commit the sin straight away, rather he will bring it very very close to you and then take you down. Read the hadith about the monk (barsisa is the name in some narrations)...

Ibn Jarir said that Abdullah Ibn Mas’ud interpreted the Qur’anic Verse that reads:

(Their allies deceived them) like Shaitân (Satan), when he says to man: “Disbelieve in Allâh.” But when (man) disbelieves in Allâh, Shaitân (Satan) says: “I am free of you, I fear Allâh, the Lord of the ‘Alamîn (mankind, jinns and all that exists)!” So the end of both will be that they will be in the Fire, abiding therein. Such is the recompense of the Zâlimûn (i.e. polytheists, wrong-doers, disbelievers in Allâh and in His Oneness, etc.). (Al-Hashr 59:16-17)

Ibn Mas’ud (May Allah be pleased with him) said: Once upon a time there was a woman grazing sheep and goats. She had four brothers. She (for some reason) used to spend the night at a monk’s cell. The monk committed adultery with her and she got pregnant. Satan came to him and said: Kill the woman and then bury her for you are a reputable and highly respected man (i.e. don’t risk your own reputation for such a simple woman).The monk killed her and then buried her. Thereupon, Satan visited her four brothers in a dream while they were asleep and said to them: the monk committed adultery with your sister, and because she got pregnant, he killed her and buried her in such-and-such location. In the morning, one of them said: “By Allah! Last night I dreamt of something and I do not know whether to relate it to you or just keep it to myself?” They said: Relate it to us. He did so and one of them said: By Allah! I saw the same dream. Another said the same. And the fourth one said the same thing. They agreed on that there must be something serious about that dream. They went to the king and appealed for his help against the monk. The king’s troops came to arrest him and he was taken away. On the way, Satan came to the monk (and whispered in his ears): I set you up. No one else can save you from this. Prostrate yourself before me just for once and in return, I will save you from this. Thereupon, the monk prostrated himself before Satan. When they presented themselves before the king, Satan said to him: I am free of you! Finally, the monk was killed.

From: Stories of the Qur’an, By Ibn Katheer

And here is a similar story about the same monk with a bit of difference...

There were three brothers from Bani Israel who were called upon to go on Jihad. These three brothers had a sister who did not have any one else to be taken care other that by them. They did not know under whose care could they leave the young woman. Then they thought that the most reasonable place to leave her was with the Abid (worshipper) because he was the most trusted man in town. Barsisa, the Abid was a man who used to be in a monastery devoted to worship of ALLAH.

So they went to him and said, ” We are being enlisted to go on Jihad and we want to leave our sister with you. We trust no one in town but you.”

Barsisa replied “Audhu billah, get away from me.” This was an Abid who was not married and he did not want to deal with these problems.

The brothers said, “We have no where else to leave our sister but with you. We don’t trust anyone else.”

So Shaytan came to Barsisa and said, “If u don’t accept, she might be left with somebody who might not be trustworthy.You have to step-up and take this responsibility.”

So Barsisa told the brothers, “Leave her in the empty house.” (which was seperate from the monastery where he was staying). The brothers then left her there and went on Jihad.

After that, Barsisa the Abid used to leave food at his doorstep and the young woman had to come out of her house and walk all the way to take the food from his doorstep. Barsisa never used to leave from his monastery. Barsisa had never met her and they were not seeing each other. Days passed by like this.

One day, Shaytan came to Barsisa and said, “Somebody might see her when she is walking out. So rather than have her leave from her house. You need to carry it and leave at her doorstep.” So he started leaving the food at her doorstep. This happened for many days.

Again one day, Shaytan came to Barsisa and said, “You can’t just leave the food at her doorstep. Somebody might see her when she opens the door and she is very beautiful. You would have to take the food and leave it inside her room.” So Barsisa would go and knock on the door. She would open and he would walk inside and leave the food there. That continued for a while.

Then again one day Shaytan said, “You can’t leave this poor woman alone without giving her any company. Nobody is speaking to her. So she may be feeling very lonely and that might lead to haram. So why don’t you go and talk to her from behind the door.” Barsisa liked the idea and so for a while he would sit outside and just talk to her for HOURS. Slowly and slowly the relationship was building up and Shaytan was finding it easier to drag him to the next step.

Shaytan then came and said, “You can’t just sit there talking to her, people might see you. You need to go inside, just sit in another room without looking at her and talk to her.” So for sometime that is what he did. Slowly she started getting closer to him and everytime they got more and more close to the extent that eventually he comitted zina (fornication) with her.

So the Abid, the worshipper who devoted his life to service in the monastery comitted zina. Because of that, she became pregnant and delivered a boy.

Then Shaytan came to Barsisa and said,”Now when the brothers come back and find out that their sister has a child you are going to be in big trouble. The only way for you to put an end to this issue is to kill the baby.” Barsisa followed the advice of Shaytan and killed the child.

But it didn’t end there. Shaytan came to him and said, “Do you think that this woman will keep the secret after you kill her own child? The only way out is to kill her.” So Barsisa killed her and burried both mother and child in a certain location inside the house.

Later the brothers came back and inquired about their sister. Barsisa gave some reason and said, “She had passed away and this is where she is burried.” Saying that he pointed to a false grave.

Then Shaytan went to the brothers and made them see a dream. In that dream they were told that Barsisa killed their sister and the proof was that she was burried in a different location (i.e. under the rock inside the house).

When the brothers woke up they started talking to each other and found out that they all had seen the same dream. They thought that there must be some truth in it. So they went and uncovered the grave which Barsisa had pointed to and found it empty. Then they went inside the house and found the rock as mentioned in the dream. On digging underneath the rock they found their sister’s dead body along with that of the child.

So they went to Barsisa and forced him to disclose the secret of what happened. He went ahead and told them the whole story. The three brothers took Barsisa to the king’s court and he was given punishment of execution.

While Barsisa was being dragged to his execution spot, Shaytan came to him and said, “Listen Barsisa I am Shaytan and it was me who was in communication with you since this whole thing started and not your inner thoughts. Now I can get u out of this trouble if you want. I am the one who put you in this trouble in the first place and I can get u out of it.”

Barsisa asked, “What should I do?”

Shaytan said, “Do sujood to me and I will save you.”

Barsisa did sujood to Shaytan (i.e. committed shirk) and as soon as he did so, Shaytan ran away and Barsisa was executed.

I would really recommend you to watch the sheikh feiz lecture on intermingling which is on youtube. It is something of great benefit in shaAllah

[rightpath_357]

Originally Posted by Hard Rock Moslem

Light wind will be enough to move the cotton to the fire….who is fire and who is cotton you decide, but the wind will be the shaitaan….

thx 4 explaining bro!!!!!

[revert2007]

Originally Posted by Hard Rock Moslem

Indian always say do not place cotton next to fire...you know what I mean?

hahahaha.......

[revert2007]

Originally Posted by justice101

i knw u guys will be tellin me that i cant cuz am supposed to stay away from zina but i think about it and i say the only reason we r friends is cuz of islam 75% of our conversation is bout islam the rest is just stupid stuff its like wat we do here except i can c them i play n .......... am lost cuz i knw islam is the way to life n so i knw that its 100% right but there are hadith like one that said Aisha RA was angry at another sahabi and they quarrelled and after that many sahabas came and tralked to her and hea was begging her i mean thats a sensitive topic there are going to be tears cuz she cried at the end and they became friends again, i mean c it was islam that put them together, and plus we all avoid being alone even if i go to thier house i stay wiv thier bros so we dont really stay alone in a room and they never ever showed me any part of their body xcept wat is seen and we r soo shy of each other some times but not more i know islam wont say if a girl taks to u reun away n say u r shaitan no there r restricctions but there are also places where religion is easy ALLAH knew that we will live together till qiyamah so HE wouldnt say run away from ewach other but AVOID ZINA

we cannot compare ourselves with the prophet pbuh /sahabah or even the prophet's wives...they are the people are guranteed jannah..but we?who are we compared to them?we are not even closer...so why do we need to take the risk????and what is this thing about playing...

i even feel guilty and afraid of doing dawah with opposite gender and ur talking about playing with opposite gender..sorry bro..this thing doesn't exist in islam..if u start doing it and disbelievers see it and they might think it is allowed in islam..so becareful with what u do..it is not about u but about us as well coz it is muslim ummah and we are all one family...

[revert2007]

Originally Posted by thariq2005

As salamu 'alaikkum brother, the Qur'aan ayah is very clear, it does not say AVOID zina/do not commit zina, rather the Allah T'ala commands us not to come near zina...

Allah T'ala says:
“And come not near to unlawful sex. Verily, it is a Faahishah (i.e. anything that transgresses its limits: a great sin, and an evil way that leads one to hell unless Allaah Forgives him)”[al-Isra’ 17:32]

Remember Shaytaan will give you waswas and it will all start off as something pure etc, but it will end up in great evil and that is how shaytaan takes you down. He never tries to make u commit the sin straight away, rather he will bring it very very close to you and then take you down. Read the hadith about the monk (barsisa is the name in some narrations)...



And here is a similar story about the same monk with a bit of difference...



I would really recommend you to watch the sheikh feiz lecture on intermingling which is on youtube. It is something of great benefit in shaAllah

very well said mashaAllah..JazakaAllahu khairan

[The_truth]

Originally Posted by justice101

i knw u guys will be tellin me that i cant cuz am supposed to stay away from zina but i think about it and i say the only reason we r friends is cuz of islam 75% of our conversation is bout islam the rest is just stupid stuff its like wat we do here except i can c them i play n .......... am lost cuz i knw islam is the way to life n so i knw that its 100% right but there are hadith like one that said Aisha RA was angry at another sahabi and they quarrelled and after that many sahabas came and tralked to her and hea was begging her i mean thats a sensitive topic there are going to be tears cuz she cried at the end and they became friends again, i mean c it was islam that put them together, and plus we all avoid being alone even if i go to thier house i stay wiv thier bros so we dont really stay alone in a room and they never ever showed me any part of their body xcept wat is seen and we r soo shy of each other some times but not more i know islam wont say if a girl taks to u reun away n say u r shaitan no there r restricctions but there are also places where religion is easy ALLAH knew that we will live together till qiyamah so HE wouldnt say run away from ewach other but AVOID ZINA

Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, its clear brother that you know its wrong to be-friend a girl and "play" around with her but you are trying to bring up any excuse possible to try and justify your friendship with her.

As explained in my last post to you, you can make ANY excuse you want to try and justify it but that is EXACTLY what shaythan wants you to do he wants to make it out to you that its innocent and friendly and not to make a big deal of it but this is clearly the deception of shaythan for he is clearly trying to decieve you right now with this type of thinking but we have to get away from this false mindset and ALWAYS try to think of how we can avoid sin and avoid falling into haraam not how we can fall into it for that is what shaythan wants and he will give us ANY excuse possible so that we do fall into sin!

There is NO excuses my brother it is WRONG to befriend the opposite sex and the evidance has been stated in my last post to you and the reasons behind it. Brother everything Allah wants is the best for us, if he created us then do you think he does not know what is best for us in this life? It is US who are maming it hard for ourselves because Islam straight forward to practise and implement.

My brother know that there is absolutly NO justification for wanting to befriend any girl so please do NOT let shaythan give you these excuses to use. It is your life at the end of the day but the proof, evidance and reasons behind them have been provided to you so please act upon them as soon as you can and don;t waste anymore of your precious time on ANY girl but focus on improving yourself and going towards Allah! One day you will look back and say "how stupid was i to befriend girls and try to justify it"!

[justice101]

thank u all, i have to admit wat THE TRUTH said was going on my mind yesterday after i read ur repiles, thanks for the story too brothers and sisters now help me and tell me wat to do cuz am shocked here thinkn n i realize i know nothin and i dont knw how to start or ............. i knw its funny and weird am probably the only guy who has this problem here. and tell me the restrictions as points and if i can still talk to them in religos matters cuz they r the only pple into it and by the way am in a society where guys and girls greet by hugs i avoid it most of the time and i really get uncomfotable and no one else loves islam like those sisters( they are twin sisters). i dont care about the others but to lose my islamic conversation that was hard but ALLAH knows wats best for us so hit me with a list pray 4 me ok

[ahmed_indian]

Originally Posted by justice101

thank u all, i have to admit wat THE TRUTH said was going on my mind yesterday after i read ur repiles, thanks for the story too brothers and sisters now help me and tell me wat to do cuz am shocked here thinkn n i realize i know nothin and i dont knw how to start or ............. i knw its funny and weird am probably the only guy who has this problem here. and tell me the restrictions as points and if i can still talk to them in religos matters cuz they r the only pple into it and by the way am in a society where guys and girls greet by hugs i avoid it most of the time and i really get uncomfotable and no one else loves islam like those sisters( they are twin sisters). i dont care about the others but to lose my islamic conversation that was hard but ALLAH knows wats best for us so hit me with a list pray 4 me ok

Alhamdulillah bro that u acknowledged the truth. may Allah bless u for accepting the truth. its a sign of having a humble soul which is not arrogant.

well, i know its going to be hard for u in a society in which u live. but keep making Dua's brother and also u can tell those twin sisters about Islam's position on mixing. u can do dawah to males and they to females. u can say to them that u r not cutting off relationship with them but want to be within the Islamic limits.

PS: also u can bring them to this forum. we'll have 2 more sisters'.

[thariq2005]

Originally Posted by justice101

thank u all, i have to admit wat THE TRUTH said was going on my mind yesterday after i read ur repiles, thanks for the story too brothers and sisters now help me and tell me wat to do cuz am shocked here thinkn n i realize i know nothin and i dont knw how to start or ............. i knw its funny and weird am probably the only guy who has this problem here. and tell me the restrictions as points and if i can still talk to them in religos matters cuz they r the only pple into it and by the way am in a society where guys and girls greet by hugs i avoid it most of the time and i really get uncomfotable and no one else loves islam like those sisters( they are twin sisters). i dont care about the others but to lose my islamic conversation that was hard but ALLAH knows wats best for us so hit me with a list pray 4 me ok

Wa 'alaikkumus salam wa rahmathullah. Brother since you said it for yourself that they are very committed to islam, I am assuming it wont be hard for them to take advice in matters of Islam. You nee to warn them about the dangers of free mixing, it will be better if you can just email them a few youtube videos, so you will not have to go to them and talk to them. Also it is not allowed to speak to women when they are on their own. In shaAllah you can talk about religious matters to the brothers in your society, it will be hard at the start, but in shaAllah by the will of Allah subhana wa t'ala it will get easier. Many of us were exposed and are still exposed to the very type of society you live in. Evil is widespread to such an extent that something halal looks as something strange, and committing haram seems as something fine. Fitnah all around us my brother, and this is what we need to be careful of. I have seen many boys in their 17's and 18's who are hafidh of the qur'aan and fall into great fitnah. You see many brothers with beards fall into fitnah, and many sisters who wear their loose abayas fall into fitnah, the very fitnah you have mentioned. So my brother be strange for the Messenger of Allah salallahu alaihi wa salam said "Islam started as strange, and will become strange once again, so glad tidings to the Strangers, so glad tidings to the strangers, so glad tidings to the strangers."

So advise the sisters of what Allah has decreed upon us, and then keep away from them. Advise them to give da'wah to the sisters of their society while you give da'wah to the brothers of your society, in shaAllah. In shaAllah things will be much more fine when you get married lol . A good video for you to watch in shaAllah...



In shaAllah strive in the way of Allah T'ala, and everything will be fine in shaAllah. The age of the youth is the blessed time to spend his time in worship of Allah subhana wa t'ala, for one of the people under the shade of Allah is the youth who was bought up worshipping Allah. So fear Allah as much as He should be feared and die not except in a state of belief, in a state where you want to meet Allah, rather than a state where you do not want to meet Allah.

In shaAllah before I leave, I would like to share one more video in shaAllah that is a bit off topic, but very good in shaAllah ...



Wa salamu 'alaikkum my brother.