What's the biggie about age difference in marriages

[muslimahindeen]

:salam2: Anyone have a problem with marrying someone older than they are like 5-10 yrs older what about younger ?????

Is anyone here married like that ??does it make a difference just curious???

heard younger guys are more Immature and older guys are to demanding :lol: :lol: :lol:

[AishaR]

:salam2:

My husband is 14 yrs older than myself. We have been together for 18mths & so far the age difference hasnt caused any problems. He is like a little child at heart & hasnt really grown up, lol
He is no more demanding then any of us can be at times.

:wasalam:

[ripefig]

:salam2:

Most times (not All) age bring wisdom, but in a relationship the main thing is the heart of the individual. Some good examples are our Mother Khadija RA who was older than the Phrophet:saw: She was his strength and had a very special place in his heart. On the other hand is our Mother Aisha RA who was younger than him, but also had a special place in his heart. So you see it can work both ways for the better. One last example is Prophet Ibrahim A.S. when he was just a child, he believed that there was only one God, but he could not convince his father of the truth. This is a clear indication that maturity and wisdom does not necessarily come with age, but the condition of one's heart. :SMILY47:

[38khadj]

:salam2: My husband is 5 years younger and we have never found the age a problem! :hearts:
You are as young as you feel in your heart or the opposite!
:wasalam:

[fahad96]

Assalam Aleikum
"Love is blind and never go behind"
Marriage doesn't make any age difference
Relationship is the main thing in the heart of 2 Lovers ..LOL

Fahad

[amina29]

I know a sister whose husband is 11 years younger than herself....

They have a very good relationship, alhamdulillah

[Hajar]

I know a sister whose husband is 11 years younger than herself....

They have a very good relationship, alhamdulillah

Assalaam alaykum,

hehe age is nothing but a number.... :)


Wasalam

[NewMuslim]

Walaykum Salaam
I'm not married, but my mother and father are 10 years apart in age (my father's older). However, something like 30 or 40 years is just gross IMHO. Depends on the reason, though. I'm talking about for love only.

[shaz_1999]

I would prefer 2marry sme1 older den me coz seeing da guys younger den me im finkin hw cud I live wid dem.

How much older den me?, I do not mind any number of years.

But at da end of da day who knws wat Allah hz pland 4me

[Basicofislam]

:salam2: I know somebody who is 20 and her husband is 41. And they got married when she was 18. They have a baby now and are happily married.

[saima11]

:salam2:

my husband is 5yrs older then me we been married for nearly 5 years, age not been a problem, even though he is a big baby but can't blame him as he is the baby in his family[the last child].

[TheHumbleWun]

I don't think age is relevant, at least to me. What I look for is:

If they are religious
Good family
Educated
How they view life, etc etc

I look at the basics first, no matter what age--older or younger. Some people that are older look younger than me, some people that are younger looks older than me, sort of a paradox...haha

Today you can see a 30 year old who likes playing his Playstation for fun and a 20 year reading the Quran for fun. It all depends on how you see it and what you like.

[Umm Aysha]

Asalaamu Alaykum

I don't think age is relevant, at least to me. What I look for is:

If they are religious
Good family
Educated
How they view life, etc etc

I totally agree with you brother......age doesnt really matter to me, it all depends on the person and their personality and character and if they are honest and religious.

May Allah bless us all with a pious spouse......ameen.

wasalam

[junaid hasan]

i think the age difference between 5-10 is enough.
but 15 years or 20 years differaence?
i think its excess

[virtualeye]

I would prefer 2marry sme1 older den me coz seeing da guys younger den me im finkin hw cud I live wid dem.

How much older den me?, I do not mind any number of years.

But at da end of da day who knws wat Allah hz pland 4me

AssalamuAlaikum,

Sister your post is really funny. :D

You used the following words:

den= The habitation of wild animals

cud=Food of a ruminant regurgitated to be chewed again


I understand this style, but sometimes wonder why people use it. :SMILY335:

Wassalaam.
VE

[shaz_1999]

I just shortn da words I am so used to emailing and txtin all da time I get used to wrting like dis.

Wen I wz at uni I had 2mke sure da words were all in full coz it wz very importnt now alhumdollilah I hav a job itz hard to make sure of da words.

Fanks for makin me laugh

[hussain.mahammed]

^^^^^Gosh !!!!...hard for me to understand
Age doesn't really matter. Already good examples in the posts above Subhan Allah. May Allah guide you with His Noor and give you Hikmah.
But I dont know why some people marry when the age difference is too much like 40 - 50 years. I have seen an old guy of around 60 marrying a girl of 18? I dont want to say that its bad or some sort of like that. What do you think about it?
Not generalising though but I have seen many Arabs in India as well as out here doing that.
Allahu Aleem.
wa/salam

[Globalpeace]

Asslamo Allaikum,

I don’t think that its about age; its about maturity and compatibility between the two. Some people stay immature at 50 others are mature, caring and responsible at 19.

Women (even Non-Muslims) like mature, caring, funny, responsible men and prefer to marry them, it’s in their biological nature.

Some will say where do you find men with all those 4 qualities in 1 person! Ha Ha!

However I do believe in my humble opinion that difference of over 15 years could be a massive difference.

I do find that when you get older (like me in mid-30’s) you tend to be set in your ways and its hard to change…versus when you are younger you tend to be flexible.

If you meet someone who is mature enough and compatible to you then consider it as a gift from Allah (SWT) and go tie the knot!

[zeneesha]

:salam2:
Regarding this age thing, I'd prefer a guy either 2 years younger, or about 5 years older than me.
Now I'm not sure as to how true this is, but I've heard somewhere that it is sunnah, for a woman to marry a guy younger than her.
Could someone clarify that for me please.
Jazak Allah

[Wulf]

:salam2:

My Wife was 22 years my Junior.

For 12 years we were happy, I was in paradise. But as I got older, she started looking at younger men. She listened to others who placed ridicule on our marriage because of the age difference.

They would say things like, "How can you stay with an old man?"
She started to take notice of what they were saying and stopped looking into my heart, seeing only what was on the outside.
She separated herself from me in the home and eventually moved out leaving our child and me alone.

In saying these things one must consider that niether one of us was Muslim, we had no Iman to follow.
She was raised at a time when marriage had little value.
She herself had no example to follow, coming from a broken family.

I am starting to believe that what happened was a good thing. Why? you may ask.
If this had not happened I would not be here typing this. I would not have become a Muslim, I would not have started reading the Quran, and I would not have met some of the most wonderful people that I have ever encountered.

Back to the question. I believe that if BOTH people have Love, in their hearts and they can see what is within their Spouse's heart, age is of little consequence in marriage.

Older men have already lived the life of the young. They are more stable, and most are wiser. Not saying that a devout young person does not have wisdom, many do, and make good spouses.

With the help and guideance of Allah :saw2: nothing is insurmountable in a Marriage, or choosing a life partner, be it Age, differences of opinion or other matters.

:wasalam:
Robin

[Mohsin]

:salam2:

Dear brother Robin, i really liked yr views, mashaAllah. One thing i just wanna point out is that the words u used after Allah (i.e. :saw2: ) are not the correct words and we use these words for Mohammad :saw2:, since its a dua and a wish in favor of him :saw2:, which we ask Allah to bestow upon him :saw2: . I hope brother u didnt mind me telling u this.
Remember me in your duas,

Your brother in Islam
Ma'ssalaam

[Noor to shine]

:salam2: all
:saw2: (Sallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam ) This is an expression that Muslims use whenever the name of Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) is mentioned or written. The meaning of it is: "May the blessings and the peace of Allah be upon him (Muhammad).

Another expression that is alternatively used is: "Alaihissalatu Wassalam." This expression means: "On Him (Muhammad) are the blessings and the peace of Allah."

Allah has ordered Muslims, in the Qur'an, to say such an expression. Muslims are informed that if they proclaim such a statement once, Allah will reward them ten times.


Al-Ahzab [33:56]
إِنَّ اللَّهَ وَمَلَائِكَتَهُ يُصَلُّونَ عَلَى النَّبِيِّ يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا صَلُّوا عَلَيْهِ وَسَلِّمُوا تَسْلِيمًا

33:56 Allah and His angels send blessings on the Prophet: O ye that believe! Send ye blessings on him, and salute him with all respect.
Quran

[sajjuaiah]

:salam2:

:bismillah:

For your support, My wife is 10 years older than me.

For me age is not important.

Prophet Muhammad (S.a.W) was 25 when he got married with Khadija (R.A) when she was 40 in her age.

Jazakmullah Hu-Khairan

[Noor to shine]

:salam2: for all
Allah swt said in Quran:
[سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى عَمَّا يَقُولُونَ]


(Glorified and Exalted is He high above what they say!) meaning these idolators who transgress and do wrong when they claim that there are other gods besides Him.


[عُلُوّاً كَبِيراً]


(high above) means, far above. He is Allah, the One, the Self-Sufficient Master, Whom all creatures need. He begets not, nor was He begotten, and there is none comparable or coequal unto Him.


[تُسَبِّحُ لَهُ السَّمَـوَتُ السَّبْعُ وَالاٌّرْضُ وَمَن فِيهِنَّ وَإِن مِّن شَىْءٍ إِلاَّ يُسَبِّحُ بِحَمْدَهِ وَلَـكِن لاَّ تَفْقَهُونَ تَسْبِيحَهُمْ إِنَّهُ كَانَ حَلِيمًا غَفُورًا ]


(The seven heavens and the earth and all that is therein, glorify Him and there is not a thing but glorifies His praise. But you understand not their glorification. Truly, He is Ever Forbearing, Oft-Forgiving.)

[Wulf]

:salam2:

My Friends

Thank you for pointing these errors out to me. maybe i should leave out the Arab texts until I learn more.

Thank you for your patience.

Wa'Salaam

[Muhammad_A]

I'd rather have a wife who was in her late teens/early twenties just to increase the chances (inshAllah) of us having children.

Obviously she'd have to be content with being a wife and a mother rather than pursuing some career goal. How many women can you say that about these days?

[salam]

:salam2:


i was wondering, what is the youngest age can a girl be to get married.
i know puberty is the starting time.
in other words, is it a bad idea to marry someone who is about (~12)?
i know in a western mind that would be called "rape" ?!?!?!?!?!
can any brother or father comment on this
especially, what do you sisters think

:salam2:

[Muhammad_A]

Where I live it's 16 (with her parents permission).

The kaffir would regard a 16 year old marrying anyone over 21 (say) as totally beyond the pale. I'm not sure how we'd feel about it but, if I was offered marriage to a 16 year old and she was suitable (in terms of her deen, imaan, modesty, maturity, etc) I'd have to pray to Allah (swt) for guidance before making a decision one way or the other.

I have no idea what Allah has ordained for me in terms of a wife (or wives :eek:). Only he knows and I accept my Rabb's decision, without reservation. Whatever my own personal feelings might be.

HamdulIllah

[TheKnowledgeSeeker]

My father is older than my mother i personal think it is nice for a women to get marry to older guy rather then a woman marrying a younger guy. I think older guys are more mature and responsible than a younger husband. I hope not to offend anyone by this. This is just perspective of unmarry sister.

[Destiny_Jannah]

I wouldn't consider marying a guy younger than me ;) obviously there are reasons. And not even older guy, 2-4 years gap might be fine..but like 10-20 yrs? come on !

[hussain.mahammed]

Overall its a matter how well one knows the Deen and practices it. Rest is upto Allah SUbhanahu Wa Taala.

[califmuslimah]

Assalamu'alaykum brothers and sisters, I'm a new revert of 3 yrs. and Alhamdulillah I'm so happy that Allah guided me to the true path.

Being born and raised in the U.S. marriage and age isn't a big deal. Older men with younger women is common and even OLDER WOMEN and younger men is now more common than ever. I was always one of those who liked the younger men. LOL. I don't see this situation really in Muslim couples though. Seems like Muslim men like younger women than themselves. Or I'm I just not seeing it the other way around? Just curious sense I'm thinking of marrying again.

WS:blackhijab:

[missmuslim18]

:salam2:
im unmarried and i think age should never be a barrier. i also think it should be a bigg deal if the brother is already married [for sisters of course]

[Sophie]

:salam2: Anyone have a problem with marrying someone older than they are like 5-10 yrs older what about younger ?????

Is anyone here married like that ??does it make a difference just curious???

heard younger guys are more Immature and older guys are to demanding :lol: :lol: :lol: :salam2: My beloved husband was 30 when we married. I was 42. He is now going to be 35 and I am 47. We love each other very,very much. I think it is not the age that is important,but if you are well suited for each other.I think I will have to start a new subject because we are seriously thinking about second wife. I am unable to bear children,and I want my love to have children.:hearts: Inshalallah we will find a great second wife.:hearts:

[shaheeda35]

:salam2:
My husband is 11 years older than me and alhamdullilah we have a beautiful relationship, age is nothing but a number and should not play a factor in choosing a suitable spouse. Allah knows best!:)

[MubarekMuslimah]

Salaams

My husband is 7 years older than me. We have been married 3 years alhamdulillah and all is good :)

Age is just a number really - its what in their heart that counts. And dont use people's stereotpyes about what older/younger guys are like - everyone is different.

Waslaams

[najbc]

I do not think people think about the age number or the numbers are the problem. they think about the life they want to have togehert and the children. some people want to give their kids a younger father or mother that will be there for them and will stay around for them. idf you are a mother, do not you want to give your kids a strong and younger father that will be there for them.

[shaheeda35]

:salam2:
I beg to differ. You might have someone younger who is not full of energy, whereas you have an older one who is just the opposite. Age is just a state of mind. My mother used to always say you are as young as you feel. Younger does not always mean he is more active than the older one. My husband is 11 years older than me, and is very active, mashallah. He plays basketball, goes to the gym etc.... And by the way just because the person is older does not mean he has a shorter life, Allah can call us at anytime, not just in old age. Allah knows best!!:hearts:

[ehsan]

:salam2:

i guess age does'nt make any difference. Understanding is the most important factor between a relation. Islam has given us practiocal examples of way of life as marrying someone younger or elder is also a sunnah.

Its simple... fulfil ur rights of being a good husband/wife as guided by Islam and Allah will automatically bless ur relation.

May we all be blessed with good life partners. Amin !

:wasalam: