WaheedaLele
11-14-2006, 08:52 PM
ASSALAMU ALAIKUM...to all brothers and sisters..
my name is Lele, im 46 yrs old from Manila Philippines....a friend forwarded me an article with your site and am so glad about it,well, as it is i am from the Philippines a predominantly Catholic country...and as such i was born a Catholic, we werent that religious though,as far as i know abt the Catholic faith are the Sacraments for which i have just known the formal term from my university subject on Secularism...funny, but only in my college days that i have just understand catholism, but to be honest, by then i am reading more about the so called pentecostal beliefs...and years passed i was one among them, who hails the king...singing hallelujah,praise the lord, speaking in different tounges and laughing and yes sometimes get slain when filled with the "holy spirit"...i did joined missionnary works,evangelical works,etc...but there seem to be that void in my heart...but as it is, i remain...years passed ..with all the struggles,hardships...getting married and eventually separated, raising a son as a single mom...my life seem to be full of trials, but i still remain as a christian...a good daughter,a good sister,friend..i stil believe that one has to be a complete person...i value relationship, more than ever...
until the time that ive learned that my ex hubby is pastoring a church, i just cant reconcile that fact, a separated man with sexuality problem pastoring a church? well...he didnt even give a penny for his son, all he jus want is an informal marriage dissolution, for which i didnt agree...but then again...with all those disappointments,anger,hatred, i continue to be a christian...working hard...suppporting parents and brothers...i was blessed to give...but yes...there are still questions at the back of my mind...some murmuring if my faith is turning out to be good, but as has been said...all things work together for good to them that love God...to those who are called by his name....i still have to be loyal to my faith then...or should i say i have to be more tolerant...
my life has been a series of goodbyes, troubles...disappointments,but i see them as trials...till my brother has got renal failure on the year 2000, oh how i stormed heaven with prayers....but as is it, my mom on december 2003,got ill...well we thought of it as just flu...but on january2004,my mom had been diagnosed with chronic lymphocytic leukemia and expired on february,2004...
and we remain as christian...with my brother's dialysis ...we remain to be firm, but the question in my heart is still there...i cant find that peace, being a single mom, looking after my mom with leukemia and a brother who had been in a dialysis treatment for 5 years then...i just felt numb with all these trials...just have to cry in secret...i need to profess that im strong...for they just draw strength from me...being the eldest and the spiritual as i am...
so it was in 2005 that i learned to surf the net...i came across Beliefnet...for my spirituality...but as fate would have it...i have learned to love the Daily Muslim Wisdom...but i just have to read it in passing...you know how Muslims in the Philippines had been steriotyped...but in some ways...im gaining peace reading the mails...
then come, april,2005...i met a friend online...he said that he just got online because it's the prophet's birthday....so i immediately know that he's a muslim...days passed, we chat, known each other, till one day he asked me about my faith...we did a lot of discussion...as i said, my God is the omnipotent, omniscient, etc...and sometimes i get distracted when praying ...why? because i need to start my prayer with adoration,confessions, thanksgiving to God the Father and ask in the name of Jesus....i sometimes get confused...and besides, i was stumbled with a very bad experience in my faith...so to be honest,im not attending an organized church...as such, i did asked myself, where am i to go?
so,readings, prayers...reseaches began...till ramadan 2005 came...there is this heavy burden in my heart of wanting to worship the One True God...
in haste...i have to go out of the house, find a masjid and just want to an imam...but on that day, sept 25,2005...in front of imam Nur...as he was lecturing me on the kabbah, my tears keep on flowing...i dont know why....as i see it, i think its just the most spontaneous thing that must happen...crying with joy...im shedding tears bu im still glad, there was this Joy in my heart...ihard to understand...but im joyful, as if the heaven opened...angels singing...i just cant explain how it is...but it is the most wonderful, most awesome experience i ever have...
i did took my shahada on that same day...since then, ive learned to prostate myself to Allah...im learning so much discipline with my Islamic Faith, and as what everybody says, im more peaceful, i look more serene and tranquil , reverting to Islam havent been hard on me, my son and sister and brothers are all behind me..yes there are some questions...but inshalla, everythings gonna be fine... every change is for the better....I HAVE PLACED MY TRUST UNTO ALLAH, AND TO HIM I TURN REPENTANT TO ALL MY SINS,FOR UNTO HIM IS THE END OF ALL JOURNEYS....i still ask for prayers to all my brothers and sisters to make my Iman stronger...inshalla...assalamu alaikum...
my name is Lele, im 46 yrs old from Manila Philippines....a friend forwarded me an article with your site and am so glad about it,well, as it is i am from the Philippines a predominantly Catholic country...and as such i was born a Catholic, we werent that religious though,as far as i know abt the Catholic faith are the Sacraments for which i have just known the formal term from my university subject on Secularism...funny, but only in my college days that i have just understand catholism, but to be honest, by then i am reading more about the so called pentecostal beliefs...and years passed i was one among them, who hails the king...singing hallelujah,praise the lord, speaking in different tounges and laughing and yes sometimes get slain when filled with the "holy spirit"...i did joined missionnary works,evangelical works,etc...but there seem to be that void in my heart...but as it is, i remain...years passed ..with all the struggles,hardships...getting married and eventually separated, raising a son as a single mom...my life seem to be full of trials, but i still remain as a christian...a good daughter,a good sister,friend..i stil believe that one has to be a complete person...i value relationship, more than ever...
until the time that ive learned that my ex hubby is pastoring a church, i just cant reconcile that fact, a separated man with sexuality problem pastoring a church? well...he didnt even give a penny for his son, all he jus want is an informal marriage dissolution, for which i didnt agree...but then again...with all those disappointments,anger,hatred, i continue to be a christian...working hard...suppporting parents and brothers...i was blessed to give...but yes...there are still questions at the back of my mind...some murmuring if my faith is turning out to be good, but as has been said...all things work together for good to them that love God...to those who are called by his name....i still have to be loyal to my faith then...or should i say i have to be more tolerant...
my life has been a series of goodbyes, troubles...disappointments,but i see them as trials...till my brother has got renal failure on the year 2000, oh how i stormed heaven with prayers....but as is it, my mom on december 2003,got ill...well we thought of it as just flu...but on january2004,my mom had been diagnosed with chronic lymphocytic leukemia and expired on february,2004...
and we remain as christian...with my brother's dialysis ...we remain to be firm, but the question in my heart is still there...i cant find that peace, being a single mom, looking after my mom with leukemia and a brother who had been in a dialysis treatment for 5 years then...i just felt numb with all these trials...just have to cry in secret...i need to profess that im strong...for they just draw strength from me...being the eldest and the spiritual as i am...
so it was in 2005 that i learned to surf the net...i came across Beliefnet...for my spirituality...but as fate would have it...i have learned to love the Daily Muslim Wisdom...but i just have to read it in passing...you know how Muslims in the Philippines had been steriotyped...but in some ways...im gaining peace reading the mails...
then come, april,2005...i met a friend online...he said that he just got online because it's the prophet's birthday....so i immediately know that he's a muslim...days passed, we chat, known each other, till one day he asked me about my faith...we did a lot of discussion...as i said, my God is the omnipotent, omniscient, etc...and sometimes i get distracted when praying ...why? because i need to start my prayer with adoration,confessions, thanksgiving to God the Father and ask in the name of Jesus....i sometimes get confused...and besides, i was stumbled with a very bad experience in my faith...so to be honest,im not attending an organized church...as such, i did asked myself, where am i to go?
so,readings, prayers...reseaches began...till ramadan 2005 came...there is this heavy burden in my heart of wanting to worship the One True God...
in haste...i have to go out of the house, find a masjid and just want to an imam...but on that day, sept 25,2005...in front of imam Nur...as he was lecturing me on the kabbah, my tears keep on flowing...i dont know why....as i see it, i think its just the most spontaneous thing that must happen...crying with joy...im shedding tears bu im still glad, there was this Joy in my heart...ihard to understand...but im joyful, as if the heaven opened...angels singing...i just cant explain how it is...but it is the most wonderful, most awesome experience i ever have...
i did took my shahada on that same day...since then, ive learned to prostate myself to Allah...im learning so much discipline with my Islamic Faith, and as what everybody says, im more peaceful, i look more serene and tranquil , reverting to Islam havent been hard on me, my son and sister and brothers are all behind me..yes there are some questions...but inshalla, everythings gonna be fine... every change is for the better....I HAVE PLACED MY TRUST UNTO ALLAH, AND TO HIM I TURN REPENTANT TO ALL MY SINS,FOR UNTO HIM IS THE END OF ALL JOURNEYS....i still ask for prayers to all my brothers and sisters to make my Iman stronger...inshalla...assalamu alaikum...